#not super super sick but enough to make you feel shitty yknow

[very-uncorrect]

Scrolling on Tumblr at 5am because I had a coughing fit that stopped my breathing for like 10 seconds lmao

[satoriberry]

"there's no ink." "yer kinda cute." - karasu tabito

★ resume: you need to make photocopies of a correction sheet for all 35 of your classmates. also, karasu can't use printers.

★ heads up: karasu is potentially ooc but imo he acts the way he does when it comes to football outside of bllk he's CRINGE BOOOOO, reader has hair that can be tucked behind her ear so it can be short or long yknow and uhhh nothing else ig, maybe just karasu being cringe but what's new. also reader is so fucking sick and tired of people in this so she's a bit rude but its justified :3

★ berry's note: oh wow im WRITING!! [😱😱] n e way, i hate this guy a lot and i cant imagine him excelling at using a printer by himself, so time to make a cutesy scenario out of it where he makes a fool of himself!!! enjoy!! :3

maybe it was because of the big, fat, red "57" that was surely an adequate and representative grade for your work - and not just your geography teacher being a bitch - but for some arbitrary reason, an itch developed in the back of your brain and made you feel a bit less tolerant of stupidity. at least until you get back home and sleep like a comatose patient.

you felt a slight comfort in knowing that even the self-proclaimed class genius got a gut-wrenching 60 on the same test, which isn't the nicest way of finding inner peace, but who cares? besides, geography is for losers who want to make statistics about the declining birth rate, and you couldn't care less about women giving birth to less and less children with each passing decade. strutting down the empty hallway, you gripped the sheet containing the answers to the questions with a bit too much intensity and aggression, slightly creasing it in your hand but you had bigger things to worry about. the printer room.

the godforsaken printer room - that served as the only motive to still keep hallway number 4 of the third floor accessible - possessed a myriad of faults and problems, the worst one being that they rarely kept the ink fresh; 'they' being the student body whose only involvement was that. keeping the ink fresh. they didn't even have to buy it, their only job was checking the printer's ink every 4 to 5 days and replace the cartridge if needed so. but, suprisingly (considering how competent they usually are), no one was bothered enough to accomplish this single task. nevertheless, it seemed that you weren't the student to first stumble upon this inconvenience today. the door to the printer room was slightly ajar and the lights were clearly on, so someone had to be in there.

taking the final steps, you lightly pushed the door all way to the end and gazed upon the wall where the (shitty) printers sat on an alignment of old desks. there was someone, you knew that already, but that someone seemed a bit familiar.

oh. it's that super soccer guy from bambi osaka. kawaru tamiko.

or at least you thought that was his name. you weren't good with names.

he was leaning forward against a table carrying an old canon®, tilting it forward with a grip on either side, and his hair flattened against the wall. almost like a person checking the label on the back of a cargo box that was too heavy to move. he was probably trying to look at the wires in the back, there was no other explanation for such an awkward posture.

it took him a few seconds to notice your presence, partly because he was so engrossed in the printer, and partly because you didn't care enough to say a word and instead opted for standing awkwardly with a hand on the doorframe. he turned his head towards you a first time and immediately went back to the printer before rapidly turning his head towards you again, this time fully absorbing your existence. kawaru abruptly let go of the table, producing a loud noise as it hit the wall, making you slightly wince at the idea of an even more damaged printer. you walked towards him.

running two fingers on the dust coating the surface of the printer, you lazily muttered, "it's not working, is it?", expecting nothing less from junk that was probably in use from before the fall of the soviet union. he had stood up straight and begun to awkwardly swing his arms back and forth, a clear attempt at de-stressing. "err, no, pretty sure there's a wirin' problem," he answered, though you were moreso talking to yourself than him, but that didn't matter.

"and uhh, this button right here hasn' stopped flashin' ever since i turned the thing on. prob'ly needs a technician," he continued, forcing a more assertive tone towards the end. you asked him to show you what button he was talking about, so he eagerly pointed at a flashing button located on the left side control panel of the printer. a button that had the image of an opaque drop on it. a button that had the faded word "ink" written underneath it.

the printer was working fine. it just needed ink.

and he thought it was broken.

you stood there in silence, physically and mentally unable to comprehend how someone can miss such an obvious clue. you didn't take your eyes off the flashing button, breathing quietly, trying your best to not lash out on kawaru. you noticed a frizzy lock of hair sticking out from your head and proceeded to tuck it behind your ear, then put your hand over your mouth in an attempt to hide your frustration, eyes still on the flashing button.

karasu, on the other hand, was waiting next to you, though his eyes were moreso fixated on you than the printer. did he know you? he didn't think so, but you seemed like someone he can find interest in, definitely the thinker kind since you appeared to be pondering a solution to this ordeal in a rather sophisticated manner. other questions flowed through his mind: what class were you in? were you a 3rd year? were you in the advanced course? did you have any mutual friends? did you do any extracurriculars? did you like soccer? have you ever been to one of his matches? he couldn't stop the flow of possiblities as to how to get to know you.

"there's no ink." "yer kinda cute."

you slowly turned your head to face him, body stiff and unmoving. he realized how outlandish the comment he just made was, and possibly inappropriate considering the circumstance.

"huh?" "what?"

you blinked at him with gradually developing bewilderment, fully certain that you heard what you heard but that didn't change the fact that you weren't awaiting that from him.

and sadly, you couldn't say that it displeased you. the opposite actually.

"i err, i...anyway, you said ink? there's a few cartridges in the desk's cubby. whaddya need? black? magenta? cyan? yellow?", he started to speak again at a fast pace, wanting to get done with this interaction and dwell in sorrow from his incapacity to talk to cute girls. "black's fine," you answered, looking away to make it less embarrassing from him. he dug in the cubby for a moment, hand banging the sides of the metal compartment before he got hold of a blocky object. he read the cartridge's sticker and made sure it was black ink before standing up again.

you expected him to press the button that dislodged the upper half of the machine and replace the cartridge, however, he stood quietly, fiddling with it while nervously looking at and away from you multiple times. oh. he doesn't know how to replace ink. exhaling through your nostrils, you stuck out your hand, wordlessly demanding him to hand it over - an order he prompty followed.

karasu felt you snatch the cartridge before he could even fully place it on your palm, making him feel even more guilty for wasting your time. he watched as you effortlessly pressed a series of buttons, took out things, replaced things and before he knew it, you snapped the top of the printer back on, which caused the flashing button to stop doing so. was he a loser or were you just a printer connoisseur? he didn't care enough to think of an answer though, he was once again focused on subtly seducing you and make you notice his more pleasant qualities.

you chose to ignore him for the rest of your stay in the printer room, procuring 35 copies of the sheet and preparing to leave when you felt a hand (his hand) lightly tap you on your back.

"yes?," you said, though you recognize you could have said it with a bit less bluntness in your voice. he took no notice of this however, and asked, "what's yer name? i think we've met before."

"(last name) (first name). no, we've never met, or at least i don't think we did," you replied before staring at him with more attention than before, noticing a few details about him that you missed. for example, the mole on his upper left cheek, or the weird angle at which his hair was styled. what kind of fucking product would you need for that?

"ah, hahaha, my bad, i was prob'ly thinkin' of someone else. umm, i...i meant what i said earlier," he mumbled his words more and more. you raised an eyebrow, not getting what he meant by 'what i said earlier', before remembering that he had called you cute. oh, right. that happened.

you involuntarily flashed a face of understanding, then lowered your head to bite your cheek. you didn't want to look like a loser while trying to hide your smile, a smile you rarely gave to guys with bad flirting skills, albeit this one was of the more good-looking variety so you can superficially excuse his lack of skills. "thanks, that was very sweet. i wasn't expecting it but it's still sweet. thank you."

"i can help ya' carry those papers to your classroom, that looks a bit heavy-"

"it's fine, really. but i do have a question. what's your name?"

his expression changed from nervous suaveness to a giddy grin, feeling honoured that you were interested in his name. "karasu tabito. i play for the local youth team, bambi osaka. you didn't ask fer that but, y'know...," ah. that was his name. karasu tabito. kawaru sounded a bit too childish for a guy like him.

"karasu tabito. yeah, i've seen you play. you're fun to watch." you tried to lighten the mood a bit cause the boy was seconds away from developing a rash if he kept scratching his neck like that.

"fun to watch? me? oh, thanks. i've been called a 'good player' and 'excellent' even, but 'fun', i've never gotten that before. w-whaddya mean by that though? what's fun, my playstyle or my presence or-,"

you couldn't afford wasting any more time than you already have, so cutting him off, you replied, "fun as in watching you in your element is rather entertaining, i don't do much sport outside of PE, but i can tell you love what you do. sorry, i have to leave, my teacher is gonna be up my ass about taking so much time."

karasu's lips formed a thin line, bitter about not making much of this exchange. and before he could even hold himself back, his mouth let out, "wanna watch my practice after school? you don't have to stay fer the whole thing, jus' to show you how i play outside of official matches."

"sure."

"what? hu-"

"i said, 'sure'. i'll watch you, i'll even stay for the whole practice, i've got nothing. catch you at the shoe lockers, bye."

and with that (plus a quick smile to soften the blow), you speedwalked out of the printer room and began to go down what felt like a dozen floors.

you didn't allow yourself to think about what happened up there, to avoid cringing at your bizarre attitude and not think about the fact that a (weird) guy you would consider somewhat out of your league, just asked you to watch him play.

bonus!!

lunch break finally rolled around, and your friends typically hung out in an obscure part of the courtyard to eat while hiding their cellphones from any faculty members. checking your messages, you noticed an instagram dm from someone whose username already crossed your mutual recommendations but you never took the time to open their profile.

kr_tabito23.

-> coach is sick but i still want an excuse to talk to you

-> there's this really rad crepe shop in namba parks

-> im paying :]

-> you can't say no

-> lol kidding

-> sorry that was weird

you giggled at whatever he was trying to achieve, he was definitely a dork. you didn't mind that.

-> sure. still gonna catch you at the shoe lockers c:

and somewhere in the school, on the opposite side of the main building, next to the fountain where he and his friends usurped the benches, karasu jumped from his seat and into the air, bumping his fist and yelling unintelligible words while his friends watched, confused but happy for their normally cool and collected fellow.

★ berry's post-writing note: guys im gonna be honest i hate the ending my inspiration juice ran out so i just came up with something but i feel like it could've been a bit better. still happy that i wrote something cause ive been in a long ass writer's block since?? what??? february? anyway, criticism is always accepted and uhh thank you for reading till the end!! <3

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

[kitkat1003]

On the issue of Mortality

AO3 Link

MK chose to be mortal, to be vulnerable, for the time being, and Monkey King is fine with that.

On the surface, at least.  Now he has a successor, one that he likes, and he’s vulnerable????

Yeah, he’s never going to sleep easy again.

(Or, 11 chapters through season 1 about Monkey King, and anxiety his successor gives him.  Who knew being a dad teacher would be so hard?)

Chapter 1: Picking a successor

(Or “Look, I’m gonna come clean.  Um...I’ve been kinda watching you”)

When Sun Wukong—the Monkey King—decides he needs a successor, it isn’t an easy decision.  For one, he refuses to admit why.  Because that would mean confronting it all and he doesn’t want to.  

He needs a successor because he wants one.  Who doesn’t want to retire?  It’s not like he’s spent hundreds of thousands of years in technical retirement, waiting for the Demon Bull King to return.  No, he’s been...super busy.  Yeah.  Turning Flower Fruit Mountain into a paradise has totally taken him…forever, and, like, he’s got lots of stuff to do.  He watches TV, once humans get electricity figured out.  Gets a computer too, once those things start popping up.  He gets a lawyer or two, yknow, keeping up with the times.

He’s...super busy.  He definitely deserves a retirement.

So all that’s left is find a successor.  Easy, right?

Well....

He actually starts looking when he hears whispers that the Demon Bull family is starting to get close to figuring out how to lift his staff.  So about a hundred years before Demon Bull King actually escapes.

He finds a few kids he thinks might work, but nothing happens, anyway, so there’s no point in interrupting their boring normal lives for nothing.  Besides, he doesn’t really see any of them with the spark of...something that he wants in his successor in any of them

He watches them grow.  Child to teen to adult, he watches, and then he leaves before they get too old because he doesn’t want to see the headstones.

He doesn’t understand why they have to be human.  Why they have to be mortal.  Why they have to be able to die.

Why he has to watch them die.

Years and years pass.  He gets lax, when looking for a successor.  Lax when it comes to keeping an eye on the Demon Bull family.

He does, on occasion, watch the town where his staff is.  It’s a pretty populace place, always buzzing with some sort of activity, which is both fun and boring.

One night, he watches a kid—no older than 13, he thinks, since he’s gotten used to watching humans grow and can gauge it pretty well—sprint down the street in the rain, wearing nothing but a ratty old hoodie, a shirt, shorts, torn up shoes, and a headband so dirty that even he can’t discern the original color.

There are three other figures chasing him, and he ducks into an alley as they sprint past.  Monkey King watches as the kid settles down, sitting in the alley, and pulling something out from beneath his hoodie.

A puppy.

“Hey there, little guy,” the kid’s voice is soft, and he scritches the tiny pup behind the ears.  “Sorry I couldn’t get your siblings, but they’d already been thrown in the lake—” the look on the kid’s face is nothing short of heartbreaking. 

Monkey King has plans for the group of thugs he saw earlier, if that’s what they were doing. Humans. 

“But hey, managed to save you, huh?  I’ll bring you to a shelter in the morning.  Someone will take you home and you’ll get loved to death.” Monkey King rolls his eyes at the saccharine display, but he wonders.

There isn’t a lot of crime in this city, with its advancements.  What’s a kid doing outside this late at night?

“I’d take you home with me, but mine’s more of a hovel than a place to live.  You can still see it, though!  C’mon,” the kid gets up, stumbling a little, and Monkey King notices that he’s favoring one leg, that the elbow of one of the sleeve’s of his hoodie is wet.

He follows.

The kid’s house is literally a shack made of a metal sheet wedged between an alley wall.  There’s a ‘bench’ that’s a slab of rock placed on top of more rocks, where a well loved sketchbook sits.

The kid sits on the bench, setting the puppy down beside him as he flips open his sketchbook.

“I’m gonna draw you, so I don’t forget, kay?” He pats the pup on the head, and then, using the smallest, most worn down pencil Monkey King has ever seen, he slowly carves out the puppy’s features, getting the soft tones of fur.  He keeps squinting, but Monkey King thinks that’s because all he has is the light of the lamppost for his vision.

This kid...is pretty darn good.

Monkey King watches for way longer than he would like to admit, and then watches as the kid pulls out a very worn blanket-substitute, curling around the puppy beneath it.

He frowns, but isn’t sure what to do about it.

So he leaves, and makes sure those thugs learn a thing or two about treating animals with respect.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This kid just keeps popping up in Monkey King’s peripherals.

He likes to people watch, and the kid will just appear from nowhere.  He’ll be running down the street, hanging out with this girl who looks about 3 economic classes above him. They’ll go to the arcade and play for hours, and she’ll pay for practically everything.

He decides he likes her, if she’s nice enough to do that for the kid.  Plus, he feels a familiar energy coming off of her, something he trusts.

They typically end their day at a noodle shop.  Pigsy’s?  The kid always pays there, with coins of various sizes.  The girl, when the kid isn’t looking, will slip the cook some more money.  They get steaming hot bowls of ramen, harass the cook, and eventually get half chased out, laughing all the while.

“You know you can stay with me, right?” The girl says, one day, when Monkey King is people watching (read: eavesdropping on their conversation.  It’s like his new favorite TV show, at this point).  Kid rolls his eyes.

“Mei, c’mon, your relationship with your folks is as strained as mine!  I wouldn’t want you to end up like me.  Besides, I’m fine!” he insists with the grin Monkey King has grown accustomed to seeing on Kid’s face.  

The information Monkey King gains from those two sentences is certainly something, and he ponders on Mei, the girl who spends her days as far away from home as possible.

Mei frowns.

“You still won’t show me where you’re staying.  Or explain why your clothes are all torn up!” She pokes him in the chest, and the Kid shrugs.

“Cause you wouldn’t like either of those things!  I can take care of myself!  Promise.” He rocks back and forth on his feet, all smiles.

Mei fixes him with a glare, before she sighs, relenting. “Fine.  But, if you won’t take my hospitality, you get my undying loyalty and free stuff!” She whips out a brand new red winter coat.  

Kid takes it slowly.

“It’s getting colder out!” She explains.  “And red just isn’t my color, you know?”

Kid slowly pulls the jacket against his chest, like he doesn’t know what to do with it, and then he smiles.  This one is smaller.  Less performative.  Monkey King didn’t realize that he’d been watching the kid to be able to tell the difference, but it’s not too hard to see.  Kid uses big smiles like a cloak, to hide what’s underneath.  The smaller ones-those are like the slivers of sunlight shooting out from an eclipse.  Wukong finds he prefers the smaller ones.

Kid wraps his arm around Mei’s shoulders.

“Thanks, Mei.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The days get colder, and Kid is still in that shack.  Monkey King finds out that Kid doesn’t steal for money.  Instead, he does little odd jobs for short change, and then looks for coins people have dropped.  Apparently, the city’s wealth has made people more loose with their change.

Mei drags him to warm places as often as she can, but apparently this time of year she has a lot of responsibilities, or “social events,” as she calls them, so she can’t be around as much.

Kid doesn’t seem to mind, shivering through the nights, curling himself as tight as possible with that jacket and shitty blanket, and Monkey King doesn’t know why he even cares, but...

He’s not cruel.  It isn’t pleasant to watch a kid suffer.

And then, Kid gets sick.  Like, delirious, fever sick, and he’s not getting better.

And Monkey King has told himself, a million times, that he would let Kid figure his own life out, but he ends up picking Kid up anyway, depositing him at the ever familiar noodle shop.

The cook drags the boy inside, and Monkey King doesn’t see Kid on the streets after that.

Good.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kid starts working at the noodle shop, apparently, and he lives above the shop.  Slowly, he accrues random objects.  Sketchbooks, games, figurines, Monkey King comics?  He watches the show near religiously, and Monkey King is both flattered and weirded out.

A super fan, huh?  Okay then.

And when he isn’t working, or watching “Monkey King: The Animated Series,” or reading Monkey King comics, he’s begging the resident bookworm, Tang, for stories, which he then sketches out.

Monkey King actually goes through the sketchbook once, when Kid’s asleep.  Yup, Kid’s really, really good at this.  Monkey King actually thinks about stealing a drawing, but that would be both very obvious and also stupid.

So he lets it go.  He ought to look for his successor, anyway.  He hears the Demon Bull family is getting close.

He leaves Kid to his life and moves on to his own.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He can’t find a successor.  Somehow.  It’s like every person in this city (and it would have to be in this city, because you need to be close to the staff in some regard if you want to have a connection with it.  Being born near it, living near it-makes it easy for the energy, the chi, to find you) doesn’t want anything to do with hero business.  The kids he considers are too small, the adults too...boring.

And he’s getting pretty frustrated here, because he thinks he might just have to fight the Demon Bull King all over again, which, ugh.

And then, it clicks.

He’s watching Kid drive around town, delivering orders, and somehow the kid steers towards the construction site.  Toward the staff.

Of course.

God, it was literally staring him in the face.  He feels kind of dumb, now that it hits him, but whatever.  Not like anyone’s around to tease him about it.

He watches Kid waltz towards danger, music in his headphones too loud to notice the literal demon family, until Kid opens his eyes and sees the whole demon army there, and hoo boy, is this comical.

Monkey King wonders if they’ll succeed this time, in lifting his staff.  They certainly seem confident.  He’s kind of curious, kind of bored.  The whole ‘take our rightful place as rulers of this world’ schtick is super annoying, and Red Son’s voice is grating.

The light show is pretty nice, though, and then.

Then.

Demon Bull King’s a lot smaller than he remembers, but his voice is the same, as is his attitude.  Monkey King can feel Kid shaking and takes a quick sweep of the area.  Seems his successor is right above Red Son.

He smirks to himself, not that anyone can see considering he’s a bird right now.  

This is going to be hilarious.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Kid touches the staff, Monkey King isn’t prepared for the feeling he gets.

It’s like he’s been the single Sun in an endless galaxy, surrounded by darkness, when suddenly another star appears from nowhere, throwing him into orbit with it.  The galaxy shifts, the light doubles, the darkness recedes.

Monkey King’s own center, his sun, feels red hot, warm, and tempered by years of life, with a spark of yellow and white in its center.  Kid’s is bright, brilliant golden yellow, more white than any color, bursting with energy.

That energy gets put to work pretty quickly, as the Kid fumbles his way out of the demon’s den, and Monkey King soars after him, watching the escape with a smile.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He doesn’t properly meet Kid until he gets shot all the way to Flower Fruit mountain.  After Kid escapes Red Son, he panickedly tells his friends what’s going on and tries to get there on his own.

Well, all the way is a bit much.  Maybe Monkey King had to catch Kid and fly him there, because Kid was looking half dead and Monkey King was a little worried, but that’s beside the point.  He leaves Kid on the shore, and follows him when Kid gets up.

He isn’t expecting the frustration, when he can’t be found, but he supposes that’s his cue.

Getting stepped on is unpleasant.  Guess Kid doesn’t like bugs.

God, the look on Kid’s face, when it hits him that Monkey King’s been watching him!  If he could frame a memory, that would be it.  Hoo, boy, is that going to be replaying in his head for a while.  Kid seems more bewildered than anything else, and the idea of being Monkey King’s successor doesn’t sit well with him.

Which, Monkey King doesn’t get that.  Who wouldn’t want to be taught by him?

But maybe he overestimates the kid’s spunk, his confidence, because waving off his worries doesn’t spur him on; rather, it seems to deflate him.

Ugh.  Why is being a teacher difficult?  It’s not like his teacher had a hard time with him, right?

Distantly, he thinks he can hear his master shouting at him.  He hops off his cloud, says just the right thing to get Kid pumped up, and watches him race off.

He considers just sitting back and not watching, but then, that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He isn’t actually sure what having a successor means, really.  How much their powers, their lives, would mirror his own.  A part of him was terrified by the prospect—could he even be known as anything special, if he was no longer one of a kind?

But there’s also something quite exciting about this.  The idea that your life is being rewritten, the story unfinished and yet also repeating itself.  The Demon Bull King is on the loose, with his army and family, trying to take over the world.

And only one person can stop him.  The Monkey King.

Kid’s powers are volatile.  He can feel them flare up from time to time, wildly flickering out of control.  A lack of self confidence, that might be causing it.  A part of him is annoyed by that, a part of him is relieved.  Far better to have to teach someone to believe in themselves than teach them humility.  He’s pretty sure he hasn’t learned that latter lesson all the way yet.

Kid vanishes into the Demon Bull King’s chest, where the staff lies, and for a moment, the new sun vanishes.  Monkey King feels the cold rush of space in its absence, and feels panic, even though he’s only known this warmth for a few hours.

But then, it bursts back into existence, as a familiar stone drops from the Demon Bull King’s chest, cracking open, and, well, it’s history being written the same way over and over again, isn’t it?

Kid has a flair for silliness, childish maneuvers.  He likes to have fun, and that’s the best part of the powers they share.  To be invincible, to have fun while saving the day. 

It’s a repeat, until, well, it isn’t.

The blow Kid takes makes Monkey King wince.  The body becoming invulnerable takes time.  It doesn’t just immediately show up.  Every second, Kid’s body is absorbing and meshing with the powers thrust upon it, but that doesn’t mean getting hit a mile by a guy twenty times your size doesn’t still hurt, at this point.

But Monkey King knows this is what has to happen.  Because heroes aren’t heroes if they never feel pain, never get hit.

Heroes, he thinks, as Kid tears himself from the wall he’s embedded in, as Kid stands, eyes ablaze, are heroes when they get hit and they get back up.

And Kid sure as hell does.

“I’m the Monkey Kid!” He shouts, like a battle cry, like a challenge, and Monkey King smirks.  Monkey Kid, huh?  It suits him.  And then, Kid slams the staff on the ground, and the world shifts.

A part of him is kind of jealous.  How come he never got a mech?!  Has that been a thing this entire time?  Another part is in awe of this Kid’s creativity, ability, at such a young age.

And seeing DBK get trounced again certainly keeps the jealous part of him quiet.

Kid’s got a nice group of friends.  Reminds him of his journey days, him and a rag tag group of idiots going around wreaking havoc and learning moral lessons at the end of it.  He’s glad Kid isn’t alone or on the streets anymore.  A strong foundation leads to a stronger ability to grow.

Well, he’d better get some sort of training regimen ready.  Or, at least, start thinking of some things to do to train this kid.  He’s sure at some point Kid is going to bug him for a lesson or two.

Somehow, the thought doesn’t bother him as much as he thinks it should.

[iraprince]

do u have any advice for forcing past 50 layers of self loathing in order to work on practicing art? i know i gotta Just Do It to get better and i've gotten a lot better in the past few months thru consistent practice!! but some days i sit down to do it and immediately get hit with a feeling of You Will Never Be Good Enough And That Makes You A Bad Person that i really struggle to get past :/ i rly resonate w your posts about mental illness/health so i thought i'd ask! hope you have a good week!

it’s hard! it’s fucking hard. it takes constant daily practice -- not just at art but practice at being kind to yourself -- and it takes a long time, at least in my experience.

the first and most important thing, which you’ve probably already heard a billion times and are sick of hearing bc it’s so much easier said than done, is to try your best to stop comparing yourself to others. constantly holding yourself up to artists who are more technically adept/more polished than yourself will poison ur heart and brain and make it so, so much harder for u to focus on ur own craft. if you really, REALLY can’t turn that comparison/jealousy/stress into inspiration rn, it may mean you just have to actually limit the amount of time u spend looking at work that creates that ache in you, yknow? and so the flip side of this advice is another piece of advice i’ve given before, which is that u should surround yourself w people who are kind of roughly in the same “stage” of their creative journey as u. connect w other artists who are struggling w their confidence, other artists who don’t have much of an audience, other artists who are still trying to get their technical level to where they want it -- people who are going through stuff you relate to personally, instead of just following artists who you feel are already “way better” than u so all u feel when u look at their stuff is “my stuff will never look like that.” if u already do, that’s fantastic! lean into your interactions w them, learn from each other, and remind yourself constantly that FAR more people are in your boat (where we all have stuff artwise that we’re insecure about and we’re all trying really hard to get better and get our stuff out there) vs like, the amount of artists who are just “Good Enough!” and have settled there and are just chillin is comparatively very very small. MOST people feel exactly the way you do.

i also have a thread i wrote on twitter about how to deal with and work around the discouragement of not being technically skilled enough to draw what’s in your head. tldr: while you are in stages where you’re not happy with your skill level (which are feelings that will fade, and then come back, over and over again, for as long as you draw), instead of giving up, try to be realistic AND proactive and change the internal monologue from “i’m not good enough to draw this :(” to “okay. i’ll just frustrate myself if i keep trying to draw plan A. what’s a plan B that’s more realistic with my skill level?”

another thing it took me forever to learn is that everything doesn’t have to be posted. a lot of times a piece i was in the middle of wouldn’t actually be AWFUL, but it wouldn’t be “good enough to post,” so i’d convince myself i hated it. i spent ages thinking of every single drawing i ever made in terms of “is this polished enough to post, if i post this will anyone like/retweet/reblog this, will this make me look like i’m shitty at drawing if i post it,” blah blah blah blah blah, and finally realizing that u can just. MAKE drawings that aren’t that good, and nobody EVER has to see them if u don’t want them to and that doesn’t mean the drawing was a waste of time, was a revelation for me tbh. and i still struggle w feeling like any drawing that i don’t post and get validation on is a “waste” or like, pointless, but i’m training myself out of that and it helps a lot. sort of connected to this, try your BEST not to scrap drawings halfway through when you don’t like how they’re coming out. really really try to push through and finish crappy drawings. nobody has to know, and you’ll progress faster by making yourself finish things instead of giving up on a string of a dozen half-drawn heads.

aaaaaand finally: when drawing stops being fun and starts being something you’re torturing yourself with, maybe it’s time to go do something else for a while. like, i think utilizing this advice effectively requires having a really honest and realistic self-dialogue, bc literally the last thing i said before this was “make yourself do things you don’t want to do” and i don’t want this advice to turn into “well every single time i get frustrated that means it’s time to give up on practice for the day,” obviously. but i mean there IS a line between gritting your teeth and pushing through dull/embarrassing/just not super fun practice for the greater good, vs torturing yourself banging your head against a wall for hours at something that’s not making you happy. sometimes if you hit a plateau or you just can’t find any joy or contentment in trying that just means you’re creatively depleted. you need to rest and go soak in some inspiration and just get away from your tablet/sketchbook for a while and that’s so normal. besides, you’re already doing fine: from the way you phrase this, you HAVE been consistently practicing, and it’s just that some days you’re tired and fed up and you can’t do it. there’s nothing weird about that! that’s how everyone is! so, you know: work hard, play hard, but be nice to yourself and cut yourself a little more slack. you’ll get there and it’s not a race.

[idkwhoiamanymorebutwtf]

Imagine Sasha and Max being friends tho.

(i’ll be real this whole thing took multiple hours to type please somebody actually read this or I might die tbh-)

Like I know they had one episode together but think about them a c t u a l l y being friends.

(below are a ton of headcanons for a friendship between them)

- Obviously they have a bit of respect for one another because of their alliance of convenience, but their friendship would probably be forged on laughing at someone else. Whether it's their friends fucking up or Pikeman's general incompetence or whatever else. I can imagine now their camps are competing or something but the stakes don't matter to them, so Sasha and Max just end up shit talking everyone else and watching the show.

- Since their friendship was forged on calling people out they'd kinda just start hanging out specifically to rant and gossip about the shit that goes down around camp. Like Max'll get fed up with how idiotic the campbell campers are and come to vent to Sasha and she'll be here for it, because of course she is or Sasha ends up getting ditched by Tabii and Erin again and just kinda goes to Max to talk about how annoyed she is.

-  Sasha keeps pointing out things like the circled under Max's eyes and other facial discrepancies and eventually he'll just be like "well how do you look perfect all the time?!?" because it's not fair. Sasha gasps super loud and immediately goes full makeover mode. She immediately shoves a ton of makeup onto him and prescribes him a skincare routine and Max isn't sure about it but he's actually kinda self-conscious and Sasha's like "do you wanna end up looking like Pikeman?" so Max follows her instructions to the letter and he looks amazing.

  - After that they kinda just end up doing each other's makeup all the time and stuff like that. Max usually just uses like concealer and stuff because he doesn't want it to look like he's trying, but occasionally Max'll give Sasha permission to put some eyeliner on him or something and he'll never admit it but he l o v e s the way it looks. They start hanging out even more of course because it's not like Max can go to anyone else about the whole skincare/makeup thing and honestly Sasha loves her other friends but it's relieving to hang out with someone more willing to gossip with her (even if she's slightly salty that Max doesn't have enough hair for her to mess with like Erin and Tabii do)

-  Sasha forces Max to watch a ton of shitty highschool movies and Max doesn't really like most of them but he'll put up with it because he (although he'll never admit it) cares about Sasha (and is a little intimidated by her when she's upset). He doesn't like them but occasionally Max can also coerce her into watching a horror movie with him so they're even in his books (even if the poor thing has to watch way more of her movies than he makes her watch)

- They actually end up being r e a l l y protective of each other. Like most of the time, they'll let people fuck with their friends (so long as no real harm is done), yknow? But if anyone says a word about Max and it gets back to Sasha they'll literally end up the laughing stock of Lake Lilac by the end of the day because Sasha's a bitch who can spread a rumor like wildfire. Alternatively, Max'll sick Nikki and Neil on anyone who fucks with Sasha (which won't end up pretty). And that's if they're lucky because that kid could do so much worse if he's got the right motivation. They try to hide the fact that they're acting in defense of one another and justify why they're screwing over whoever it is they're screwing over, but it's honestly just vengeance for their friend.

- All the gossiping makes the two more unstoppable than they were before tbh. Like Max always had other Camp Campbell camper's secrets tucked away for blackmail purposes and Sasha needs to know everything going on in her turf so of course she's got dirt on all the Flower Scouts. And it's not exactly hard to figure out the Woodscout's. So with their swapping info constantly both of them end up knowing everything about everyone and being able to screw them over in a heartbeat. Basically, hanging out together makes those two terrifying.

- They're also more confident as a duo than most other times. Like don't get me wrong, they're both pretty sure of their capabilities, and they trust their individual friend groups to have their back, but they know that the other person is competent in manipulation and incredibly cunning and they value each other's skillsets because they're super similar. When you're confident in yourself, having somebody who's like you around only makes you doubly confident. They feel super badass whenever they team up in something and it's great.

- Most of their arguments are probably petty tbh. Max calls one of Sasha's favorite movies dumb (she bases her life around highschool stereotypes and dumb cliche movies, of course, she gets pissed when he insults them) or Sasha makes one too many comments about Max's physical appearance (the girl is obsessed with looking good and as much as Max is willing to listen to her advice, it gets to him when she comments on his weight or how he needs to sleep more because the circles under his eyes are getting harder to cover up. Like, he has depression, do you not realize that weight changes and bad sleeping habits are a symptom of that?!?). A common source of disagreement is how used to being in charge they each are. Like yeah, they know they don't always have to take the lead, but it's so ingrained into them that they struggle with it. Max watches Sasha's dumb movies all the time and took her advice on skincare and stuff so she occasionally forgets that she's not his boss like she's in charge of her other friend's and of course he's willing to compromise on some things but he doesn't take well to being treated like a lackey and she's too stubborn to admit she's wrong half the time.

- Their fights get bad. Despite normally being over small things and the person who's in the wrong normally realizing they're the one who's wrong, both Max and Sasha are very stubborn people and they will die on this hill no matter how petty the whole thing is honestly. They'll scream and throw things and once or twice they've even wound up physically fighting. Usually, if it comes to an actual physical altercation they'll stop there because actually injuring your friend is super fucked up. Once Max threw a book at Sasha without thinking and it gave her a black eye. Another time Sasha literally slapped him and it left a bruise for like a week. They both felt like shit after. When Sasha gave Max a bruise she literally cried and he forgave her on the condition that she help him cover the bruise with makeup (He said he'd dealt with worse and something about the way he said it made her uneasy. She can't place why). The time that Max hit Sasha with a book he froze up completely and refused to even look at her for like an hour. Partially because he felt guilty and couldn't verbalize his regret but it was honestly more than that. You don't shut down and practically disassociate for an hour because you don't know what to say. There was absolutely something wrong with the way he shut down after the whole thing but she didn't push for answers and he apologized and they just decided to forget it ever happened. They never aim to actually hurt one another, they just don't have many ways to actually get out their frustrations. They never once actually physically hurt the other more than once each. It's just not something either of them wants to go through again, honestly. If their arguments don't end with one of them going too far and the two felt like shit and making up within seconds one of them will eventually storm off and they'll both get super petty. Making sarcastic remarks at one another whenever they see each other, pointedly ignoring the other, the occasional mean prank. Usually, they forget all about it within a week, though, because as stubborn as they are something dumb happens to one of them and they'll need to vent. None of their fights are ever serious, as nasty as they are, so it's easy to get over and never gets mentioned again.

- They had one serious fight that actually put their friendship in danger. Tabii had ended up crying to Sasha because she was devastated over being rejected by Neil. Like, she was super broken up about how he doesn't love her and it's probably because she's ugly even though Erin told her she wasn't. Sasha wasn't happy about it. At all. Like, she normally just rolls her eyes and brushes it off whenever she sees Tabii going after him, but she watched so many stupid cliche high school movies where the girl got the guy if he was good and anyone who rejects the protagonist is an asshole. So Sasha, going by movie logic, was pretty sure that Neil was insulting Tabii by rejecting her and was a terrible person. She also failed to realize that Tabii's whole attitude towards pursuing Neil was kinda creepy and stalkerish to begin with and she already had a low opinion of him since he's a nerd who called her a cunt and hangs out with Nikki, who she also hates. She did not like seeing one of her best friends in the world (who's basically like a sister to her tbh) cry. So Sasha, with a burning rage towards Neil, wound up spilling the whole thing to Max. And he wasn't happy with her for insulting his friend either. Max basically cussed Sasha out because Tabii's behavior was creepy and it was making Neil super uncomfortable, which he was not cool with. He told her she was a moron if she saw nothing wrong with how Tabii acted but thought that Neil was out of line for rejecting her. Sasha didn't take well to being called a moron or to her friend being accused of being creepy, and she said something along the lines of "It's not my fault you hang out with a retarded nerd and a girl who can't even be a girl properly". Max basically called her an ignorant bitch and told her to go fuck herself, then he left. Normally their arguments are long and wordy and even violent but this time he just cut it short and stormed out. Sasha still thought she was right, of course, because that boy who Max was friends with had made Tabii cry and he was a moron for not liking her! And yeah maybe the insults to Nikki weren't exactly called for but every word was true, right?  She just kinda expected Max to get over it eventually but a few weeks passed and he never really did. The fact that Max had called her ignorant kinda stuck out to her more than anything. That's the same thing Neil had called her, isn't it? Why would they both use the same insult? It's not like that was a go-to thing to call somebody. The whole thing drove her crazy and eventually when she confronted him about it she got a long lecture about how romantic relationships work, the fact that bullying a girl over dressing or acting slightly differently from her is a shitty thing to do, and that calling Neil 'retarded' is offensive because he's actually mentally ill and even if he weren't, the word's still terrible. She didn't quite understand all of it but she got enough to feel guilty and she apologized. Sasha still doesn't really like Nikki and Neil much and it's not like she's stopped shit-talking them, but she's eased up a bit because she doesn't want Max that angry at her again, and in a way she can see how she maybe...was a tiny bit wrong.

- They don't normally get super sad or deep on each other. Neither really likes to be emotional or open up so they wouldn't exactly initiate any sort of depressing dialogue. However, they are both observant people so they notice things anyway. Max notices how Sasha talks a little too much about her weight and thinks anything over one hundred pounds is horrifically obese to the point where she diets incessantly. He notices that she cares too much about looking young and pretty too. Damned highschool movies. Sasha, on the other hand, notices that Max doesn't trust adults at all and that he flinches when she gets too loud (even if he tries to cover it up) and that he either doesn't sleep at all or sleeps way too often...amoung other things of course. They don't talk about these things out loud but they've both deduced that the other isn't healthy.

- Max practically forces Sasha to eat every time they see each other and refuses to watch a single movie with her that even mentions dieting in a positive light because she is ten years old and shouldn't be counting calories and refusing absolutely all fat. He'll insist on doing her makeup and will make sure to do it lighter and lighter every time because as much as he himself appreciates makeup and uses it to cover parts of his skin he doesn't like, she needs to be more confident and he can't in good conscience let her go on the way she's been going on. Sasha, on the other hand, if she ever notices he's having a bad day and isn't functioning well, will let him hide out with her all day even if she has other things to do and he should be at camp. Occasionally she'll even let Nikki or Neil in her room if she or they feel Max really needs their support (he can't just stay at his own camp, he'd never be allowed out of activities all day). She doesn't exactly understand why he's sad and tired and angry and has a hard time with sleep but she won't ask. Sasha has some theories on why he doesn't trust any adult and flinches when she yells but she doesn't like thinking on that one too long (his comment when she slapped him 'i've had worse' comes to mind). They're not always great at it and they don't always understand but they try to help each other even if they have an unspoken rule not to ask questions.

- While they normally spend their hang-out time watching movies or doing each other's makeup/hair/nails or talking crap about other's behind their backs, they've occasionally had adventures of their own. They typically leave Lake Lilac for these, honestly. Sasha couldn't care less about anything going on at Camp Campbell and Max isn't about to get involved in Flower Scout politics so if they're ever inclined to go on an adventure it's in town or even the big city. And usually involves crime one way or another tbh. Once they accidentally managed to get Max elected mayor of the whole town and Sasha as treasurer. Money was embezzled, fires were set, and they're now banned from muffin tops for life. That's the kind of adventure those two have whenever they're compelled to do anything at all. Go big or go home, basically.

- They're actually super honest with each other. The general light-hearted nature of their friendship and the fact that they gossip and chatter about pretty much everything that pops into their heads means they don't exactly stress about getting judged or anything like that as long as they aren't confessing to horrific sins or anything.

- They love to fuck with Pikeman. Like they normally just sit around at the Flower Scout's camp or out in town or the city or something like that but occasionally they'll screw him over because they both can agree he's an incompetent asshole who deserves it.

- Sasha flipped her shit when she realized that Max knows how to bake, cook, sew, and knit (he definitely can knit and sew we’ve seen him do it in the show and I headcanon he’d have to learn to cook and stuff cause his parents don’t feel like doing it for him) She nearly died and made him sew/knit her a bunch of stuff for her and decided they had to bake together and she was just super happy about it. Once upon a time, she would've judged him for it because of gender roles and stuff and she wasn't used to guys doing any of those things, but after the whole incident where he called her an ignorant bitch she wasn't gonna push it and besides, she was happy to have her gossip and makeup buddy also be able to do those other things with her. Like she can do those things with Tabii and Erin too but Max kinda gets her and she needs a break from the two sometimes.

- Most people don't actually know they're friends. Nikki and Neil are vaguely aware they hang out but they don't see much besides the occasional banter when the Flower Scouts and Camp Campbell interact as a group. Max doesn't talk about Sasha much around them since he knows they don't exactly like her. Sasha doesn't dare mention their friendship around Tabii and Erin because they'd freak out completely and probably assume they're dating since those two don't realize guys and girls can actually have platonic friendships. She doesn't want that drama. Their friendship is kinda a secret, which is surprising since they may not talk about it but they visit each other and chat enough when they cross paths that you'd think people would realize. But they're kinda glad. Lake Lilac is a chaotic place and when they're hanging out it's one of the only times they even have the option of just relaxing.

(imma be real I literally came up with the idea of those two being really close friends because I watched the episode where Nikki hung out with Dolph and Nerris and I thought 'Max have other friend too? :0')

Literally, ANY input is welcome. I spent multiple hours on this so if you have anything to say you know I'm down for a conversation about it

[fablecoingolf]

elaborating on what I said like.dhdkd a few days ago this was not meant to take me this long I just kept forgetting, I’m really not feeling positive towards fable 4 like, whatever, if it’s not good it’s not good I like plenty of probably bad games but there’s a difference between bad and Bad and Bad is the problem over bad here yknow? I don’t trust them to change these things that were present in the rest of the series and if they don’t change these things there just shouldnt be a fable 4 and ,

to like say words or type words in a way that makes sense I gotta repeat them a lot in my head so this is just like two things I can put together in a way that’s hopefully coherent I have no idea how to format this, I’m super sorry if it’s hard to read

first thing, -this isn’t an order of importance it’s just a way for me to place them in my head- is the morality morph thing it’s like a main feature so theyre probably gonna keep it and if they keep it it’s gotta change coz like, it’s just awful, if they wanna keep it maybe they should stick to things that aren’t just features of people, maybe things like your eyes are blue if you are good isnt good to have in your game, I feel like I shouldn’t have to point out specific things about this just looking at the chart on the wiki or whatever critically for a minute speaks for itself hopefully? If it stays it needs to stick to like, like how good in 3 is blue tinted skin with the cool eye pattern that’s way cooler in every way too, the wings are sick, there is a way that it can be ok I Think but it needs to be only fantasy stuff the whole way through and even then it’s gotta be carefully done coz fantasy stuff doesn’t just exist to itself yknow? I just see the morality morphs taken at face value a lot and please don’t do that

second thing character customisation for fucks sake, just like let you pick your characters skin and eye colour and have a couple of face presets at Least, only having the player character be white is shitty as hell and this is like bare minimum stuff, if the reason for it not being there is the morality morph stuff conflicting either get it to work(without it being terrible Please), or just take it out, this is more important than having butterflies float around your head if you eat enough tofu

side third thing that I think a lot about but that maybe, I don’t know if there’s a way to have it not be bad I personally can’t think of one, being heros being tied to genetics/blood/whatever is super uncomfortable, it’s a thing a lot in fiction and goes by without being thought about a lot I feel because of that so I don’t expect it to change, but it becomes eugenics talk real fast like, being considered inherently better or stronger or more capable or Whatever coz of genes and that’s. yknow??!! also something I see talked about without examining the lore any and it’s really really bad,the lore is a mess anyway they can change this and even if it wasn’t it’s not real they can change Anything there isn’t an excuse, I don’t expect them to but, this is kind of a half thought which is why it’s a side thing I can’t word it quite right but I thiiink it makes sense?

I have my own fix for that last one that is still not fully cooked but is enough to be edible that I’d like to, serve? I think I’ve lost track of this thought, I’ll post about that another time though it’s not really relevant here I’m just starting to space out so I’ll stop here about, all this just has been rattling around my brain since ages and it’s not everything by far but it’s what I can get to kind of make sense right now, hopefully make sense at least!

[bhumblebih]

Into the Unknown (Bang Chan au)

Genre: angst+fluff

Warnings: I suck at this pls bear the shitty fic i wrote. I just thought i could do something lol

You know how there are days, where you just feel super lazy and don’t feel like doing anything because you’re just so done with everything. With life, with opportunities that you could’ve taken if you had made a different decision in the past. It all comes down to that one butterfly effect that changed it all. This was exactly how Kara felt until a special someone comes into her life.

It all started when she moved away for University. She had chosen to move to a different country for her Bachelors in hopes of finding new, better people to befriend with and also because she wanted a change in her lifestyle. She could’ve gotten into a university of the same worth in her hometown but triggered by the changes caused by some of her decisions, she decides to go to a University where she knew no one, in hopes of finding a new group and ultimately thinking that it’d change her life for the better.

The first semester goes by quickly and she realizes that her friend group is totally different from her and its been very hard to make new friends, so she just sticks with the people that she met on the orientation day. She was totally devastated by the fact that this was, in fact a hasty decision and that it’d have been way better if she had joined the University in her hometown. At least she’d have been able to meet her friends frequently. Deeply depressed by this realization, she continues to live her life like this until she met someone that forced her to think differently. 

Waking up at 7:00 made her regret her decisions even more as she had to take the bus for her to make it on time for her first lecture, which to her dismay was the lecture she hated the most. On her way to the class, she realizes that she forgot that she had lend her book to her groupmate for an assignment they were working on. 

She calls her friend and says “Hey Hyena, the class will start in about 5 minutes. When will you come?” to which her friend, Hyena replies “Hey, I wont be  coming today because I’m sick but don’t worry, I had Chan take it with him so he’ll give it to you as soon as he can so let me know when you get it.” 

The conversation soon ended with Kara telling Hyena to get well soon. Chan and Hyena were neighbors and he is also Hyena’s childhood bestfriend. Kara and Chan never got along. Kara always thought that Chan had a personal vendetta to tease Kara as much as he can. And as for Chan, the fact that someone other than him is getting close to his bestfriend didn’t sit well with him so he just thought he’d do something to scare off the new girl. Thing with Chan is, even though he had other close friends but he was the closest to Hyena because of spending a huge part of his life with her. He experienced most of his firsts with her and vice versa. Also being in different departments made him think that their friendship would fall apart as he had seen his other friends slowly get distant, to the point, they rarely talk or meet now. This kind of stuff scared Chan because he thought of losing friends as a segment of his life falling apart. 

Kara looked at her phone again to see only 5 minutes were left till the lecture started and she was basically losing her shit because she didn’t want to get embarrassed again in front of so many people. Thing with this professor was that he was very serious about teaching and just wanted the students to be attentive and actually gain something good out of this class instead of cramming. But Kara, clouded by the negative thoughts and absolutely regretting her decisions, put no heed to this. Only 2 minutes eft, and Chan was still not here but so was the professor. After 5 minutes, she saw him running towards her with her book in his hand. 

“Hi, sorry about being a bit late. I couldn’t find a spot to park and came as fast as I can” said Chan while breathing heavily. He was actually hoping to mend his relationship with Kara after having a really talk with Hyena about it. Maybe they could be a group of 3 and just enjoy their university life as it is. After all, Chan did believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe Kara coming into their life was a good thing? 

Kara was fuming when Chan finally approached her. She was sure that he did this just to spite her so she’d get embarrassed in front of everybody. Thinking this, she angrily said,  “Don’t ‘Hi’ me! I never thought you’d be so petty to come late just to get me embarrassed. You could’ve just told Hyena that you didn’t want to do this! Next time at least try to come up with a better excuse. Everyone knows that you travel by bus.”  

Chan was dumbstruck by what he heard. He thought that she’d be thanking him for bringing her book and they can finally start off with a fresh start but boy, was he wrong. He had recently bought a bike to travel around because his apartment was kind of far and traveling by bus just seemed like a hassle to him because it took a lot of time to reach his stop. He saw Kara angrily walk away towards her class. He thought maybe he had done something wrong but he just couldn’t understand what it was. Thinking this, he went to the cafeteria to meet his friends.

Kara enters the class and she is relieved to see that the professor hasn’t arrived yet. She sits in the second row, next to her other groupmate, Seungmin. He was a good friend of Kara and they got along pretty well. If anything, Seungmin and Hyena were the only good friends Kara had. She didn’t interact with anyone else enough to be good friends with anyone else. “Wow, its very rare to see the professor come late. I wonder what’s taking him so long?” Kara muttered while opening the book to the topic they were supposed to study today. 

“Yeah but look he just messaged in the group that he would schedule a makeup class for today later this week. Damn! he could’ve messaged earlier so i could sleep a few more hours. I’ve got a practice baseball match for the sports week next month.” Seungmin said sadly. Hearing this, Kara lost all her motivation to study. Could it get any worse?, she thought. 

“That’s stupid. Messaging us last minute that he isn’t going to come. Are we a joke to him?” Kara went on to rant about it. Seeing this, Seungmin smiled to himself. He just thought how cute Kara was being, ranting about all that stuff. He always thought that she is a nice person who thinks too much. He hoped that she’d lose that ‘I’m so done with everything’ look from her face. He always tried his best to cheer up Kara as much as he can. 

“I know its pretty frustrating but isn’t it good in a sense? We can spend some time together since I’ve got nothing else to do. Do you want to go to the cafe?” asked Seugmin hopefully. “Sure. I haven’t had my breakfast yet.” Kara replied, feeling a bit better that at least she wouldn’t have to spend all this free time alone. 

Walking towards the Cafeteria, she laughs at a dad joke Seungmin made when she realizes that she forgot to message Hyena about the book. She quickly messages Hyena and lets her know that she got the book. After a while, they reach the cafeteria and Kara can see from a distance that Chan sat there with his group of friends. She tries to sit as far as she can from their table only to end up finding the only spot lest was beside where Chan sat. 

“Oh god, its been so long since we spend time together. I’m glad professor didn’t come today!” Seungmin exclaimed. “You’re right! It has been long. I really miss the time where we used to chill around and stuff, yknow?” Kara replied.

“Yeah, those were the fun times but anyways I have this practice match later today. Do you want to come watch me play? I heard the buses will go later than usual today because of the upcoming sports week.” Seungmin asked. 

“Oh sure. My introverted self wouldn’t want to interact with anyone else so I’d rather watch you play than sit somewhere alone and have to make weird eye contacts with strangers.” Kara laughed. “That’s amazing then. I can walk you to your bus later as well since I’m planning to go to a gaming zone with Chan later. I’ll be leaving with him.” Seungmin said. “Oh, but the busses would’ve left by then. How do you plan to go to the gaming zone?” Kara asked curiously. She was hoping that it wasn’t what she thought it was. “Oh Hyena didn’t tell you? Chan recently bought a bike which is so cool at least we won’t have to wait for the bus.” Seungmin exclaimed happily. Whereas Kara wanted the ground to swallow her. She was so embarrassed over the fact that she didn’t give him time to explain his part of the story and she outright bashed him about something he wasn’t even wrong about. “That’s nice. And no, she didn’t tell me about it.” Kara said sadly once she realized that she was in the wrong. She made a mental note to apologize to Chan about what she said but deep down she still thought that maybe he did something wrong because in her head, it all seemed too good to be true. For Chan to go out of his way to give her book just didn’t seem true.

Time skip to the practice match

Kara sat in the bleachers waiting for the match to start. She saw Seungmin waving at her from afar and she waved back happily hoping for him to win when suddenly hears a familiar laugh from her right. She looks over and sees Chan screaming “OI FELIX! YOU GOT IT BRO!” to a blonde haired guy who looked embarrassed. Chan sat down next to Kara excitedly until he looked to his left to see Kara looking at him, annoyed by his screaming. Chan wanted to do it again just to annoy her but remembered that he had a talk with Hyena about how he will try to be nicer to Kara and decided not to do it and gave Kara an apologetic look. Seeing this, Kara feels bad and decides that this might be the right time to apologize to him. 

“Hey Chan, I wanted to apologize for being rude to you in the hallway. I didn’t know you had bought a bike until Seungmin told me about it.” Kara said apologetically. This warmed Chan’s heart and made him think that maybe Kara wasn’t as bad as he thought. “It’s okay! It is partly my fault for teasing you so much. Obviously you’d think that. But I really hope we can start over?” Chan asked hoping for her to give him a chance. “No, its my fault too for never making an effort to fix things between us but yes, I’d love to start over.” Kara replied happily. 

After this, they happily rooted for their friends to win and Chan even bought popcorn and drinks for the match. Kara was overwhelmed by the fact how genuine Chan was. He was a carefree guy who deeply cared for his friends. They later exchanged phone numbers because of how much fun they had.

Time skip to a few months later    

One Sunday night, Kara wakes up in the middle of the night with an ache in her heart. The same familiar ache that she got when she missed her old life and regrets making some decisions. She missed her family, her friends, her home and basically everything she could think of. She felt horrible over the fact how she has misjudged her decision of moving somewhere else would resolve her short term problems. Even though the past few months have been amazing, she still missed her hometown. The past few months, she’s been meeting Chan and Hyena everyday where they’d make short trips to the park or the pet cafe near their university or just hang out and chill in the campus somewhere. Her life did get a bit better than before but she just wasn’t in the right headspace at the moment. Kara decides to take a walk to get rid of the ache in her heart. She walks to the park near her apartment and buys chocolate milk on her way. When she reaches the park, she sits on a swing and thinks about how drastically her life changed just from that one decision. Oh, how she wished her life would go as she planned it to be.  

Chan was walking home after a long game of football with his friends. His apartment was close by so he just walked to the football ground. On his way, he passes the park that him, Hyena and Kara sometimes hang out in. He sees someone on the swing sipping a juice or something. He couldn’t see properly because of the dim lights. He thinks that it might be Kara because of the body structure but he wasn’t sure. So to confirm, he messages Kara where she is to which she replies that she was in the park to get some fresh air. Chan had noticed this before as well that Kara frequently goes to the park to get some “fresh air”. He goes over to the swings and sits beside her. Kara looks shocked to see him. She didn’t think he’d show up like that but she doesn’t say anything.

“What’s on your mind?” Chan asks. “It’s nothing. I just came out to drink chocolate milk.” Kara mutters sadly. Hearing this, Chan is sure that something isn’t right. “You know you can talk to me right? I don’t like seeing my friends sad. You can share it with me if you want to. I wont judge.” Chan says genuinely wanting her to open up so he can help her. Kara looks at his eyes and she realizes that he’s being genuine and she feels warmth in her heart knowing that someone is willing to spend their time in making her feel better. She ends up telling him everything. By the end of it, she’s crying and Chan hugs in hopes of calming her down. He knew that she was in pain and wanted to do something about it. “Come on, I have to show you something.” Chan says. Kara looks up at him confused as to why would he randomly say that but nonetheless, stands up and follows him to his bike. 

They travel for about 15 minutes when Chan suddenly stops and makes her close her eyes. He leads her to a high ground where they can see the whole city from above. They sit down near an edge and Kara is too mesmerized to say anything so Chan starts talking. “I know that it can be hard for you to adjust to a new environment. And that whatever you planned didn’t come true but this is life. Its unpredictable. We all have our ups and downs but you know what the best part about it is? Its that its never going to be the same. Things change. Its sad now for you but it wont be the same always. Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be and learn to find joy in the story you’re living. So don’t worry, you’ve got me and I’ll always be there for you. You’re not alone. And like I always say “Don’t be sad, Bitches need cash”” 

Kara laughs at what he said but deep down what he said touched her heart. It all seemed so genuine and she started to realize that she had to look at life from a different perspective and maybe life wasn’t too bad. But one thing was for sure that the guy sitting beside her has her heart and she doesn’t regret moving here and meeting this pure soul.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's see those Prime Numbers for the ask meme

2) favorite albums?

well i was Ready for kesha’s album Warrior to come out in iiii think it was the end of 2012 or early 2013?? i snuck out to that tour in dc that summer also. totally solid album and it was fun to have something so fun during a totally Not Fun period lol. i was also pretty into owl city at the exact same time lmao, that’s Blatantly for when you’re depressed lol...and i also eventually saw that guy on tour when a new album came out in 2015, and that was fun too, and was Enjoying Myself a factor in the tipping point of “ah jeez i gots 2 get outta here” that i had in the next month? maybe! and uhhh i listened a lot to the phoenix te amo album. that one wasnt tied to anything at all but i have heard it So much. super short and also rock solid and relistenable. and then here we are and the bmc obcr is a gift to the world b/c a) it exists and b) Cuz It All Slaps and c) it’s so fun to either sing or dance along, or cry along if it’s the agtikbi reprise and d) lgw... and e) all the eternal, well-mixed wroland vocals

3) favorite memes?

oh god lmao idk......real earlier 10s stuff was the I Say Hey he-man meme, and the “that really rustles my jimmies” meme which was real underrated......there’s been plenty of Memes where i’ve been like “this one is funny to me Every Time” but of course now looking back on it it’s like. what’s a meme??? Vine

(skipping 5 & 11 cuz that’s the Entirety of someone else’s ask and i don’t wanna just have to scrap theirs completely and i’ll get to it next!!)

11) favorite fanarts?

you know what, there’s continuously been a ton of amazing fanart where i’m like, i’m so glad i’m seeing this, & this is Artistic Fuel, and marge simpson anime has really been just this Standout Experience lmao like......idk for as Inspiring as it is, there’s only a couple things i’ve drawn that are Directly inspired, but i just flip for it all the time and like, it’s supremely expressive and like, comics that aren’t chronological but more like a Collage Of a Moment / Concept which i think is super cool and also i love when stuff reminds me that it doesn’t have to look ~super cleaned up~ to look great.

13) favorite people you know?

oh god this one really got out of control lol i started like, talking about everyone ever from this past decade. so for Convenience i’m interpreting this as “people *i* know, but they don’t know me” so that i can cheat and say will roland, voted person of the year 2019. by extension, essential supporting crew who helped us reach this point, like john simpkins or joe iconis. leave it at that!! it’s 5am and you know i’m not lying. who knew where going “wow, This guy” in late 2018 would have so much Value.

17) a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

oof hmm.......amnesia tdd didn’t really have a “fandom” even though it obviously got a lot of attention, it’dve been fun if it had though lol. it’s tricky to answer this one cuz i always prefer like, smaller fandoms and/or finding the Niche or some other way of just like, interacting with a small corner of things, so i’m never like wow god damn wish i’d been absolutely in the thick of it with this thing. i’ve been in Corners n Niches and it’s been fine by me, really

19) a fandom that you had the best time in?

HMM lol.........marble hornets sure was fun but like, a lot of that was just the content itself and not necessarily The Fan Experience, tho i sure got a lot out of it in a ton of ways. i mean tbh that’s true of each thing i’ve really Gotten Into majorly, i go hard af and then walk out the other side with these #connections or #experiences like whoa where’d these come from lol!! but really like, overall, i’m probably having the best time right now. the “fandom” is basically just our agenda lmao but like i said i’m always having the best time when it’s a pretty niche deal, And the sheer variety of Contents n Characters to draw from here is super nice, and the fact that it’s like, oh yeah and i’m finally recognizing this should’ve-been-obvious entire Passionne i’ve had since always, and that’s great too, and like, also just having the Variety Of Live / Current Unfoldings that go down.....like, everyone havin fun with the Joe Iconis Xmas Xtrav was entirely great. and just the Engagement level is basically the best, cuz like there’s the times where maybe i’ll get a zillion notes and that’s definitely fun in its own way but i always enjoy just the way smaller amount of ppl who are Particularly Enthusiastic, and like, there’s times where like, maybe i’m *technically* in this larger circle of ppl but like, totally more of like a Tangent or peripheral to that circle or whatever lol........this feels like a really solid balance of like, being sorta in this orbit of people in a chill way, but also definitely the direct interactions Existing, which is always important lol but hasn’t always been a constant throughout my Fandom Experiences at all

23) who were you at the beginning of this decade?

2009-2010 was a real distinct year lol i was in my second year of college in the middle of my teens, when i’d hardly really been getting to Explore My Interests Freely up to that point and still wasn’t, but all of a sudden it’s like goddamn i have to figure out my major???? and i’m like, obviously in the middle of only just now Really getting to figure out my identity in this deeper and more genuine way, thanks to being lucky enough to Live On Campus and be away from home like, 2/3 of the year, but i was just like, oh god i’m in Stress Hell now all the time cuz like. i’m trying to figure out my whole thing and what my ~Career~ should be and i just have no idea but am like, trying super hard all the time lol it was not successful and i was just really stressed about it all the time. i was def quieter back then.....pretty lonely at the time, i did not get into mh and gain the presence of any Online Friends until late 2010, and i hadn’t yet been sort of accepted by a small faction of theatre people via my roommate’s connections.....i wasn’t at all Out yet, and was def In Progress of figuring it all out.....i didn’t have nearly the Self-Esteem i have now lmao, it was Not a great time and in a lot of ways ‘09-’10 was the start of a downturn into Worse Than Usual Times, though in Other ways it was definitely an upturn lol like. the latter related to stuff that was important to me / who i am, the former tied to the situations i was in and the godawful morale that resulted

29) a time when the worst case scenario happened but you pulled through?

well by the end of 2012 i had my Wrath Parent deluxe mad at me big time, AND i was stuck at home all of thee time with that (not at all hours but. every day.) it was terrible!!! tf was going on in 2013, cuz that shit was definitely like, a gross blur of a lot of indistinct misery. and then, relatedly, when it was so shitty in 2015 that i was like fantastic, i am so officially sick of this i’m outta here. i revisited some Misery Posts from that period lately for someone stranger on twitter’s project or something, and boy i was having a bad time Summer Of ‘15 lol, things not getting better at home And a job that was so shitty that it was like..................bye. lol. and then i spent a year living out of a minivan. which was real lucky in ways b/c like. infinitely better than if i had not had that minivan. and when that broke down i was also then lucky enough to have this friend who was relatively nearby who’d also been willing to just like, set me up to Not have to ask the lgbt center where that trans-friendly forest zone a couple cities over was. nothing as dramatic as it could’ve been, fortunately

31) a time you were scared?

hmmm when leaving The Parents Home overnight, that was intimidating. bit of completely jumping into the unknown there, and also like, when you spend your lifetime assuming that Someone’s Arbitrary Wrath will be uponst you always, it’s hard to shake that sense of dread and doom, like ah jeez i am really potentially bringing hell on myself here........and like i mentioned with Start Of The Decade, there was just a ton of fear there all the time lol, trying to figure out virtually overnight The Whole Of Who I Am And What I Want when i’d only just even gotten to start......also i wanna say i maybe came out in 2011?? and i sort of also felt obligated to come out to my parents also (plus i think i was giving them like, one last chance to surprise me and be decent and kind of Grow Up themselves even tho i was the like, 16 y.o.) which yknow, kids you do not have to come out to anyone at all. someone was talking the other day abt how they didn’t think lgbtq “discourse” had evolved as much as you’d hope over the past decade, but idk about that, it's only a little bit of a wildly complex topic, and for starters Online Trans “Discourse” of a decade back was wayyyyyy in a vastly different place than it is now, leaps and strides really. so the way to ~really~ do it was presented kind of more rigidly i think. anyways i did it via email and was incredibly stressed to even open the reply a couple days later lol......which ended up being really weird and vague, and then there was a phone call where no one brought it up, and the only result was increased ire and resentment :( ........and then there was still like, cops encounters! near or not-as-bad-as-they-could’ve-been vehicular collisions! but tbh generally my reaction to the latter was underwhelming, except for one particular time when i was a passenger and also tense af for the rest of the ride. that’s it for Immediate fear really lol......oh wait one time i was at this decent sized Convention Panel Event and when i’m nervous i can Only talk more (it’s possible!!) and i snuck into line for the q&a and Right when i got to the mic (intimidating) they were like oop we’re low on time, lightning round!! :’] that was obviously more just a crapton of l’anxiete

37) a fashion that fell out of style that you wish would make a resurgence?

were Gladiator sandals this decade? the strappy deals that like, went up the ankles / calves? that was in fashion for a year or two and i’m into it. i like sandals and that kind of drama

41) something you learned a lot that not a lot of other people might know about?

i don’t know that i learned way a lot of anything that’s real in-depth knowledge and niche lore.........i have learned Nothing

43) an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

i had???? lmao well either way let’s say current relationships count and like, pretty much everyone in my Sphere i value a lot! i never like, have or have had a ~close~ ring of ppl around me lol like i thought it was lucky if i talked to someone Every Day (and not at all the Usual thing) and now it’s more likely that i talk to two people every day and maybe that sounds sarcastic but it’s not at all lol. i know my social stats aren’t impressive but i so appreciate what i get to enjoy and have. and other Connections might be way more like, we are friendly acquaintances, we talk on rare occasions, we haven’t talked at all in ages, we talk but only to trade cute pics of cats, Etc etc, but i seriously do appreciate all of everyone who’s cool who i get to interact with in any way and like, be in each other’s spheres and Not just like, absolutely on nobody’s radar. also obviously soph you are here in that list in case i wasn’t implying it good enough lol it is 5am and god knows deciphering what i say at any time can be its own challenge.....ur Epic Highs and Lows of bmc 3.0 is so good lmao

[early-sxnsets]

tag game(s)

anï (i’m too exhausted to do three separate posts but i was tagged in three tag games over the past few days and i’d forgotten to do the last few games i was tagged in and i feel super guilty so here they are in one go)

i don’t know who to tag to do these rn because my brain is dead i am emotionally exhausted and i’m writing a fic that’s about halfway done so i’m gonna say tag anyone who wants to be tagged for any of these. i’m so sorry that i’m dead, i will be back alive again after may 10th, which is my AP exam day

six questions challenge

tagged by @simon--speaks

rules: answer the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

Q1: Relationship status?

single bby

Q2: Favorite color?

maroon !

Q3: Top 3 ships?

snowbaz (wow) and uh. wow. idk who else. i wanna say my own ocs matchstick and summer (is that allowed? i’m making it allowed)

Q4: Lipstick or chapstick?

whenever i get to this question in any ask i freeze up because i use a tinted chapstick so i don’t look dead but like. it can also be seen as a lipstick because it has pigment. but. chapstick.

Q5: Last song I listened to?

Run by Hozier

Q6: Last movie I watched?

uhhh i watched like. 5 minutes of the emperor’s new groove a few days ago, and watched a documentary about obscure houses like 10 minutes before that. so. i’m gonna say the house documentary.

21 questions

i was tagged by @simon--speaks, @angelsfalling16, @wo2ash, @alixanderthequeer, @sharkmartini and @bazypitchandsimonsnow

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

nickname: anï, munchkin, menina, and my hebrew name is elisheva

height: the doctor says i’m 5′3.5″, but they can’t put fractions on IDs so according to the state i’m 5′4″ and i cling to that

last movie i saw: see above (so like. funky houses)

last thing i googled: (next town over) movie tavern. i’m not saying where it is exactly bc hah i don’t wanna be stalked but. i was looking at movie times because they have $5 movies every tuesday

favorite musician: frank iero. love that funky rat man and his funky music too (i’m gonna see him for the second time next month because i made the executive adult decision to say fuck it to my seizures and go see him anyway)

song stuck in my head: i don’t have one rn but usually it’s a song by the killers (when you were young is a usual one)

other blogs: none, actually! i didn’t delete my old tumblr purely bc i’m a nostalgic dumbass, but it’s a completely different login and it’s inactive so i don’t count it.

followers: 1,666 (originally i wasn’t gonna share the number but it hit this last night and i was like heh. nice)

following: 231

amount of sleep: 8ish hours! (spring break bby)

lucky numbers: 7, multiples of 3 (only in cases of knocking), and multiples of 2 (only in cases like volume)

dream job: writing and illustrating books! i have a variety of dream jobs within art, and even within the subcategory of books, but my top dream job is creating inclusive/diverse children’s books that represent a variety different ethnicities/races, religions, abilities, and identities so that children can see themselves represented in media

what i’m wearing: a black turtleneck, a bra, and marvel boxers. that’s it.

favorite food: soup in general. i make a kick ass matzo ball soup

language: english, conversational portuguese, i know a small small bit of japanese (i should know more given i was raised being taught it but i always struggled with it), and i know some spanish. i also plan on teaching myself ASL.

can i play an instrument: yes! i’ve been playing violin since i was 2. i wanna play guitar and i know some chords but i have small hands so it’s hard to find one that’s the right size that isn’t a shitty children’s guitar, and i sing! i’m an alto

favorite song: hnnghg please don’t make me pick................ i’d have to say choke on one another by death spells

random fact: so like. if you didn’t know already, i’m an LGBTQ+ youth activist on a national scale. i disappear on occasion because i’m doing something or another, and sometimes i post about it on my blog (speaking of i have exciting news that i heard, but at the same time, i’m pretty much booked every weekend from middle of next month until middle of july), but........ i hate networking. i loathe it. if i never had to network again, i’d be thrilled. networking is my absolute least favorite thing because i struggle at everyday conversation, much less networking with people at least 10-20 years my senior. sure it’s usually free publicity and i get great connections, but god. at what cost? and like.... it’s always after a really emotionally taxing event, so i’m already drained and then wow here’s a room full of adults who want my 18 year old input. please. just let me steal a cupcake then leave.

describe yourself in aesthetic things: dye stained fingernails and necks. cranked open windows during a spring shower. dried tears and breaking laughs. coffee stains and milky tea splashes. trembling fingers, writing instead of speaking because you’re too afraid, and finally breaking free--running through the rain. scabbing blood, fresh piercings. knowing you’re loved and not saying it because it doesn’t need to be spoken. the smell of a new canvas, paint splattered jeans, and art school sweaters. black skirts with docs, then fairy lights and soft blankets hidden behind sharp profanities and harsh disgust. the unexpected. the unknown. the ever-changing, unstoppable force of the shifting tides. 

carry on questions

tagged by @goodbyedandelion, @isthisisagoodkiss @wo2ash, 

1- favorite type of scone? 

cranberry orange! one of the farms a county over has a market and they sell them there and they’re to die for (altho, i found a sour cherry scone recipe that i’ve perfected and my family loves them so they’re a close second now)

2- london or la?

i’ve never been to london, but i’m gonna have to go with london. i went to la last october to present in an awards show for my organization and i lowkey was underwhelmed. i’m very much a gloom and rain kinda person, and it was too dry and sunny there. although, i did think the huge succulents were sick as fuck. but yeah definitely london. i’m planning to spend a semester abroad there in a few years for an illustration program

3- kissing in a forest or holding hands under the stars?

i’m afraid of forests because we have a lot of wildlife and i don’t want to get mauled by a bear don’t mind me holding hands under the stars :)

4- jeans or suit?

suit suit suIT SUIT suit. i love wearing suits. my chest doesn’t cooperate and my hips always hate them but god i do love suits.

5- loose hair or pulled back hair?

mine looks better loose, and my sides/back are shaved but the top reaches my ears, so it gets annoying sometimes and i pull it up to keep it out of my face

6- vampires or dragons?

i wanna say both. i used to say “yknow a dragon but in human form would be hot” then i got called dragon fucker for like two years so out of pure spite i’m going with vampires.

7- what saying do you wish could be a spell?

(this one’s a very specific reference so hear me out) “i’ve got to go pee on her”  used to disorient and confuse the speech of the person casted upon. it’s one of my favorite quotes from scott pilgrim vs. the world (my favorite movie ngl) when scott’s brain can’t figure out two different sentences and he just says that. it’s so good and just fuckin weird that i love it.

8- which carry on character would you go on a coffee date with if you could?

depends tbh! if we’re talking date date, then penny because i would wife penny in 0.5 seconds, but if we’re talking friends getting coffee then 10000000% baz because i’d talk activism and identities with him

9- favorite carry on quote?

“he told me we would be stars” (i don’t have my book on me so i could be getting the line wrong), but it hit so hard for me. like it’s clear how davy manipulated lucy so much that she fell into it and couldn’t crawl out. it’s such a powerful message of control from those who are charismatic enough to hold it, and how sometimes we aren’t weak enough to let go.

10- how excited are you for wayward son?

lemme paint this picture: i started hyperventilating in the hallway when i found out, and then cried an hour or two later when my friend texted me that he preordered me a signed copy. like. i’ve been pre-planning how to get home from college to come and pick it up (okok the 24th is also my dad’s birthday so i’m. um. “coming home to visit him”, of course) because i’m just SO EXCITED to read them again in a canon way :’)

[saints-row-2]

How DOES shit go for ezra's lil wasteland province that he takes over? Does life improve in that area? How long does it last? Im dyin over here

MAN i havent actually ... really thought much beyond the immediate ending of Fallout 4, when Project Purity are just starting to control the Capital and start turning things around. i guess i dont want to like tie myself down to shit if future games give me new ideas yknow BUT anyway heres what i think right now 

Project Purity is made up of a lot of disparate groups, largely raiders and people from Tallahassee and Ezra-Kane’s merc days, as well as wasteland recruits, fiends, ex-brotherhood, Talon company, other small gangs that Ezra-Kane absorbed into his militia... he just takes whoever wants to join and what that does also is make it so that a lot of people are connected to PP even if theyre not part of it; people are less likely to turn on a group when its giving their child, their partner, their neighbour etc work and a living wage. 

another thing is that Project Purity buys out (using money Ezra-Kane took from the Sierra Madre and from House) like... every fucking trader and trade route they can, and makes deals with every caravan passing through to work as protection etc, as well as rerouting caravan and trade routes through Project Purity affiliated settlements and towns which means very quickly Project Purity controls the vast majority of the trade in the Capital wasteland. 

something i hadnt mentioned recently is that both Ezra-Kane (eventually) and Tallahassee are ghouls and Project Purity has a lot of ghouls, super mutants (the ones who dont hate humans) and synths in its ranks. Ezra-Kane has some.. small drama with Atticus about the Railroad allowing Synths into the Capital later down the line bcs Atticus doesnt approve of any of this shit and doesnt want the synths just being taken into Ezra-Kane’s private army.

like i said, Project Purity doesnt do any of the like... settlement building and repair shit that the Minutemen do so people are mostly left to their own devices. but if you consider shit like Big Town? Big Town’s whole deal is that theyre unable to build a safe settlement because it keeps getting destroyed by super mutants and slavers. but Project Purity cleans out the super mutants and wipes Paradise Falls off the face of the earth (they completely destroy the slave trade in the Capital Ezra-Kane hates slavers) so.. in that scenario, there would be nothing stopping Big Town from flourishing as long as thats what the citizens want. (in theory).

really the big thing that lets PP grow and become successful is that there isnt an opposing force on the same scale. the Brotherhood left and went to the Commonwealth in Fallout 4, and got destroyed by the Railroad. the Enclave die in 3. if, say, the entire force of the NCR or the West Coast Brotherhood came down on them then no, theres a chance they wouldnt do as well, but theres really no one stopping them and thats what lets Ezra-Kane completely take over. people who dont like them are going to be too small-scale to be able to do anything. 

i think in a lot of ways shit would improve. Project Purity does bring a sense of security to the Capital; theres no slavers, theres no enclave or brotherhood, they even clean up feral ghouls and super mutants. they bring work and facilitate outside trade. its... more neutral than the Minutemen in a sense? because the Minutemen are very built around being the heroes who come to save people and help people, but PP are more about punishing people who step out of line. 

like to your average fucking joe who just lives in a small town and makes a living hunting mole rats or whatever, you probably dont fucking care at all. maybe your neighbour’s daughter works for PP and when you go to Rivet City to sell some skins and make some caps, you see some PP soldiers around but youre not doing anything wrong so who gives a shit. i imagine a lot of people like them because hey, they destroyed Paradise Falls and even if there are a lot of zombies working for them at least theyre not running around attacking people. 

i mean the real flaw is that the longer they grow and flourish, the more they have a monopoly on everything. like trade might be safer but theyre cutting a profit on all of it (running a gang has a lot of overhead). something like GNR isnt going to be around for much longer because Ezra-Kane isnt going to tolerate someone running a station which speaks out against him. something like the Regulators, people who are hunting bounties on bad people? no fucking way is competition being allowed. 

and like. the Capital is still sick. the water is bad. the land is bad. its a shitty, hard place to live with or without the raiders and PP isnt going to do anything about that. Megaton is gone so thats one less active, successful town. Ezra-Kane’s whole plan kind of places the entire brunt of actually developing a world worth living in on the people living in it. PP holds a huge amount of capital and power, but its not helping people. which i think could incite a huge amount of resentment; no one’s fond of the rich guy whos hiding in the background while everyone else struggles. and as mentioned, theres not going to be a real way for people to speak out against them. Project Purity is there to keep bad people out, but theres nothing inviting good people to stay in, really. 

Project Purity’s survival is dependent on two things; the Capital Wasteland actually staying populated and alive, because if people keep drifting out in search of a better life elsewhere, theyll eventually be sitting on an empty crop of land, and on no one bigger challenging them. like i said before, the reason PP took over easily is because there was no one to stop them. if, say, the Brotherhood came back, they could probably demolish Project Purity. 

oh, and the people who work for PP actually staying in line because if a big enough chunk of soldiers mutiny then its looking pretty bad pretty quickly.

as for how long it lasts... like i said, Ezra-Kane and Tallahassee are both ghouls, and they deliberately recruit a lot of ghouls to work for the company and particularly in high-ranking positions, which means theyre not going to age out in a hurry. but theres a chance... yknow... if everyone turns on them? dead. if they do get targeted by a rival group? maybe dead. if PP expands too far outside of the Capital Wastes, spreads themselves too thin and gets killed by rival groups? dead. 

the plan for Project Purity is that they expand outside of the Capital and into other parts of america and i feel kind of inevitably Ezra-Kane is going to challenge the wrong person and go down in some blaze of glory... hes gonna die in his power armour with his gun in his hand, thats how ive always seen it. hes got too much ambition and hunger to change the world for it to be any other way.

JESUS CHRIST THIS IS A LONG POST................... tl;dr i think in some ways shit gets better just because people are given an opportunity to let their towns grow, but i think this is almost exclusive to big cities and towns and smaller farmers are kind of fucked. i also think the Capital’s really bad farmland means that people are heavily reliant on trade, which PP is monopolising, which is going to stew resentment. 

i think people in Rivet City or Underworld or other towns that form over the years will probably be more fond of PP than people who like... are struggling to have a living of any kind. i think a lot of people will just start leaving the Capital in the end, honestly. but for a long time... theyre just quietly sitting there, holding the Capital in a tight grip and waiting for someone to try to say shit. 

[jamiedodgerart]

the fade is a liar sometimes

aka, a really long post about how mal hawke survived dragon age inquisition. warning for big but kinda vague spoilers for dai and mentions of alcoholism

ok full disclosure i dont know how he survived the fade. but im thinking the nightmare like. didnt wake back up in time to block the way through the portal, and so never caused the Do I Kill The Warden Or Hawke dilemma. cos. that was kiiiiiiiinda bullshit. 

i had to pick between alistair and mal. and i really didnt want mal to be actually really dead bc at the time of here lies the abyss he’d be in a really shitty place, mentally, and i didnt want him to just! die! without resolving that! so i gave canon the finger and concocted a convoluted plan to give mal a better ending

background, after the events of da2, he ended up leaving kirkwall and fuckin’ around in the woods for a bit. i imagine he was helping refugees get out for a little while, until anders showed up and convinced him to help groups of renegade mages/circles on the verge of winning their independence. at this point he was pretty sick of the world at large, didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going to go next, and let himself be (guided? directed? pushed around?) by anders, drinking himself into oblivion and generally feeling like garbage. he fell out of contact with most of his remaining friends and began convincing himself that he was guilty for the explosion, by trusting anders (he’d suspected something was wrong with the ingredients anders was asking for and confronted him about it, but trusted him and helped him by distracting the grand cleric)

i rambled about this on my private twitter but mal and anders... ended up not being a great fit for one another and past me said it better than present me can

eventually, the inquisition came into being and grew in power. anders, still being a wanted man and mal too by association, avoided the inquisition’s patrols pretty easily. but stories started to spread about the inquisitor and his... particularly creative justice. see, pica really likes choices that have some poetic irony to them that also focus on rebuilding (he had alexius work for the mages, stuff like that), generally avoids executions, and is pretty chill with mages. the inquisition is also independent of any government, really, and is about as impartial as you can get in thedas. so when mal gets word from varric that corypheus is back, a problem, and something they need mal’s help with (that is also, in his professional opinion, his fault), he gets an idea.

he heads to skyhold, meets pica (who read the tale of the champion, asks varric questions about it constantly, was expecting a hero, and was not expecting the hero to be a depressed alcoholic) and iunno here lies the abyss happens with the aforementioned edit of no one important dying (i guess i could kill alistair and preserve a kind of important turning point in pica’s character with an added bonus of giving mal another thing to have survivor’s guilt about but i dont think i could go through with it. imagine the emotional toll. pica could get that change some other way anyway) mal by this point has gotten to know pica fairly well and has found what he’s heard to be true, and gives him a proposition

(i would like to add now that while ive read asunder, until i looked it up just now i didn’t remember where it sits in the timeline relative to da2, and it wasnt super clear to me just how much each of the two events affected the mage/templar war. so some text in sketches might be inaccurate, historically)

so you can imagine that anders is Pissed Off by this development, but justice is kinda like 

cos like. pica Is a real actual authority figure. who is down to dispense some quality justice esp re mages. and is coming at it from a “yo i know you meant well and you did kinda have a point but you also killed a lot of people so there does have to be Some kind of consequence of that”

(but neither of them are at all happy with mal turning them in)

anyway the trial ends up including a full investigation of the events in kirkwall, as well as the events at the spire (cole, rhys, and evangeline all give their testimony) and it’s more a straightening out of what was up with the whole start of this shitshow anyway, cos the confusion and misinformation about it is probably the worst part. 

pica finds anders guilty and sentences him to community service, which a lot of people disagreed with. pica thinks it was a GREAT IDEA though because that community service comes in the form of anders teaching the inquisition mages about healing magic!! something that anders is good at, loves doing, and can actually help people with!! why are we still fuckin about with herbs when there’s magic!!!!! this also has the added bonus of making mages less scary to the general populace- chuckin’ fireballs is a lot more alien and intimidating than healing up a broken arm, yknow? it can help mages seem more human and good for society than they were, separated from the public in towers.

anders is still a prisoner, though, which hes super not happy about, and part of his sentence is also that dagna gets to study him. he and samson are in grudging solidarity in the face of tolerating her extreme cheerfulness. and maybe he gets a cat too. i wonder if he and samson could talk about how shitty the chantry is re: lyrium addiction in templars? its obvs not on the scale of mage shittiness but it could be an interesting discussion

see in the grand scheme of things mal really didnt do all that much. he was duped by a lover into doing something he 100% would not have done if hed known what was actually going on. i feel like the most anyone could bust him on was aiding and abetting. and maybe helping hide an apostate. mal was found, as pica informally put it while distracted by looking at a transcript of a kirkwall templar’s testimony, “kinda guilty? just like. if ur asked to help blow up a chantry dont do it again” but cassandra elbowed him really hard and he said “look ok your sentence is, fuck, i dunno, work for the inquisition. what do you wanna do”

that was not what mal was expecting and he didnt have an answer. and pica looked at him and said “ill give you some time to figure it out, ok. just. take care of yourself, man. u look like shit” which got him another elbow, which he returned to cass with equal force

anyway. mal is now officially Not Guilty in the court of the law. which fuckin sucks bc that assessment does absolutely NOTHING to stop his shit brain from keeping being guilty about everything. so he tries to quit drinking, fails, and just has a rough time in general, while also sometimes visiting anders in prison. which probably really doesn’t help.

ENTER WARDEN-COMMANDER OF FERELDAN, MADRANA “MAD” TABRIS, AND HER PARTNER/GF/ADULT SUPERVISION EMMARIE “EMMY” COUSLAND

(you may also know mads as hester, as i called her in previous playthroughs. hester’s not a really elfy name and shes grown far enough away from her namesake that i felt a change was warranted. also emmy was created by @1500birds. i love her)

thats them (mads then emmy) so mad tabris, legendary fighter, unkillable blight-ender, bather in darkspawn blood, and general bottle covey is looking for a challenge. its been like ten years since shes had an actually hard battle to win and she’s near skyhold, and she’s heard that mal hawke, another legendary fighter, is also in the area. oh and some cadash guy. hes apparently good too. also, she’s looking for some way out of the whole grey warden death sentence thing. shes not keen on dying unless she’s killed, ydig, and apparently skyhold’s doing a lot of groundbreaking research these days

she and emmy swing on in to skyhold and finds that hawke is, well, a mess

important background. mads is not good at dealing with other peoples’ emotions. so shes not really equipped to deal with this. emmy, however, is kind, has nerves of steel, loves to help people, and is Very equipped to deal with this. and so the two of them adopt mal. (even though hes older than both of them.) 

theyve got really, really different ways of trying to help mal. emmy is a great listener, and understands survivor’s guilt and the lost-all-my-family brand of trauma pretty well. she helps him sort through all the shit that’s happened to him and offers a lot of support. and hugs. by god shes a hugger. also theyve got a symbiotic cuddling relationship bc emmy is always cold and mal is always warm, so they platonically nap together sometimes. mads is unfortunately too wriggly and pointy to be a good cuddler :’( she squeezes in the mix sometimes anyway though and it’s uncomfortable but nice

mads’s method of helping mal is in her area of expertise: getting out pent-up negative emotion by fighting. for a long time, mal has internalized a lot of shit, and mads is really good at annoying him into either yelling or punching out that shit. shes doing it out of concern for his well-being, she swears, and not because she takes joy in pissing people off. she does but thats not the point. it’s not a perfect strategy but it does help a lot

unfortunately for her, sometimes mal can be downright vindictive when drunk and angry, and can hit on the few things she’s insecure about

(i would really love to make a post about mads sometime, cos she ended up being a lot deeper of a character than i originally intended. i really just wanted a really sharp angry lady who fought with the subtlety of a brick to the face, and ended up getting that plus bravado covering up a whole host of insecurities. i feel like i should finish dao before writing it up though ahah)

(what mal said is also not totally accurate- mads cares very much for emmy. but yknow how when things get heated it doesn’t really matter if they’re really accurate anymore- they just have to be close enough to get a reaction, ydig)

anyway! the two of them together help mal get his life back in order- he cuts down and eventually quits drinking, starts taking better care of himself, and gets more of a handle on life. i guess you’re probably wondering where varric is, right around now. so am i mal pushed away a lot of people close to him after da2, including varric. but varric kept looking out for him (lying to cassandra to protect him, using his network of contacts to keep an eye on where he and anders were operating). when mal comes to skyhold i think he’d try to avoid varric out of guilt- yknow how when it’s been a really long time since you’ve talked to someone, and you know you should have called them back, but you never did, and they kept asking how you were, and you want to be in an actually good place before you call them back, but shit keeps happening, and it’s been like two years since youve said anything to them, and then you see them and do some serious acrobatics trying to stay out of their sight so you don’t have to confront their honest interest in your well-being that they have no right to still have after so long with no word from you, and you have to make it seem like you havent been avoiding them because that would be rude, and really it’s just easier to be constantly vigilant of where they are and make sure youve got plausible reason to be leaving casually yet quickly

well mal did that. emmy had to physically bar his way from escaping a room once when varric came in, and dragged him by the scruff of the neck to talk to him. varric was painfully understanding and ended up hitting it off nicely with emmy

so! someday mal gets a job. specifically, pica gives him one. because he still owes the world some community service. with his experience as a hunter and highwayman, he becomes a scout!

whoaaa color

more specifically, mal becomes a... specialized type of scout. some idiot who shall not be named but whose name sounds a whole lot like pica cadash gave him command of a small squad of scouts, heavier armored and armed than average inquisition scouts but not heavy enough to count as infantry soldiers. their job is to dismantle highwayman and rogue mercenary bands, in whatever way necessary. so! originally this was supposed to mean sneak attacks on their strongholds or whatever, but mal talked with him about his own experiences with crime (mostly that most people in his crew back then were in it out of necessity, and needed money to support family) and the squad kind of became. really heavy recruiters. it became kind of a joke that the inquisition would take anyone- and they would! practically any skillset could be used in an organization as big as the inquisition, and at this point it was still growing

like. barely any exaggeration here

so that’s where he is pre-trespasser! thank u for reading and if youve got questions or want to learn more PLEASE ask i lov my ocs and love talking about them

i want to add that in @1500birds‘s latest playthrough (miranda trevelyan, a pro-chantry mage cullenmancer) mal rags on cullen endlessly

that was supposed to be the playthrough where he survives the fade, but then bran realized that miranda would kinda hate mal and would 100% leave him behind

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

12/16/19 9:24am - post emo karaoke, journey of a day alone talking to myself

I fucking love emo karaoke

I love going out and getting compliments and being called pretty. I love my bartender who cuts a few drinks off my tab because I sit outside and smoke cigs and talk with him.  I love people who ask if I’m in a band. I got invited to be in this couple’s band last night. Hope something happens with it lol. I love getting girls numbers even though I don’t really plan on hitting them up. I love boys complimenting my hair.

Last night was sweet. I keep not getting a full head to toe picture of my outfit which is annoying, but I have been getting filmed doing my songs every time. Maybe if I put enough on the internet someone will see me and think I deserve to be a singer like justin bieber lmfao. (shrug) I’m vain enough that I love watching myself. 

Got to hang with peter and his new gf susie. Hadn’t seen him in forever, that was sweet. Tried to bounce to Ruby afterward to make out with some non binary girl like last time I did emo karaoke but alas it was deader than dead. So I came back to the end of the emo show and ended up getting a ride home from some friends who gave me like 5 bags of milanos. fucking sweet.

I also flirted with the host of the event last night and asked her out and got her number but she’s emotionally unavailable unfortunately. And it seems like she’s very busy. But still gotta shoot that shot lmfao. 

This is my attempt to be productive. I’m sitting in bed naked. Well in a robe and slippers. Not watching the end of my anime though I might take a break soon. Trying to do as much productive shit as possible because I finally have a day to myself. It feels kinda nice, tbh. When you’re with someone all the time you don’t have a lot of time to just... sit. Kinda digging this idea of getting some space from jill a little more.

I’m gonna do a dumb arts and crafts project where I want to put some velour or fuzzy material on some socker boppers for bdsm cooldown I don’t know why but it’ll be funny.

Also I’m trying to research if silicone lube or oil based lube is better for long term butt plug wear but it’s hard to find the results I need.

Hm. Research is going well. Not on anything I ought to be looking into like my UXR but in general lol. Maybe I’ll check in later

______

9:58am 

fuck I wish I still had that fabri tac. I don’t want to buy a new $10 bottle just for one project that seems excessive. Found a good alternative for pretty cheap though, hopefully that’ll work. Socker boppers project is go lol.

accidentally unplugged my laptop and started working on some flogging skills for a bit. Can’t figure out the hand pattern for florentine though, this calls for some youtube videos.

Also I realized I should totally just ask my gay buddies and pet play buddies at slosh tonight what kind of lube I should try out next. duh. Of course they’ll know better than some dumb website trying to push a product.

Gotta tumble dry some laundry real quick to fold these pants up. laundry is neverending blegh. Maybe I should do this week’s just to get ahead of it before the holidays? meh.

I wonder if I’ll look back on this and be like “wow it’s really neat seeing some nice stream of consciousness writing. I like being able to put myself back in that state of mind and really remember what my life was like” or if I’ll be like “wow this is the pedantic scribblings of a narcissistic bore” lmfao. I guess only time will tell. Maybe I’ll get killed by Trump 2020 neonazis for being a polyamorous pansexual democrat and they’ll go back and read this like it was the diary of anne frank and this will all just be part of the precursor like how they included some of anne’s boy stories. Are diaries really of any literary merit other than documenting something of historical significance? loliunno

hm. I wanted to improve my eye makeup but there’s really not all that much that I found you could do with just eyeliner. I kinda wanna get some pretty eye shadows but I’m not sure if I should do that in person or not. I still wanna look like that pretty trans girl in Euphoria sometime. 

Decided I’d throw away these Nori Maki snacks that I have from hawaii still. They were best by like october but they’re like sealed and they’re just rice crackers lol. But mmm seaweed wrapped rice crackers coated in this soy sauce shit? Soy sauce is just one of the best flavors on the planet I think. Does soy sauce compete with like pesto and hoisin as one of my favorite sauces? You don’t really think of it as a contender but yknow when you have some GOOOD soy sauce and it slaps a little bit? Idk how they make it or if they even do make it but they have this stuff in a little container at grand asia market and it tastes so much better than kikkoman. Like it’s richer or something. Yum. 

Maybe I’m just hungry lol. Getting the diet back on track is like 50-50. On one hand I took a nice fast day on saturday just ate some nuts and stuff, got some brie and salami to take to work to go for some super light and non-expensive days. But on the other hand last night I got sick of salami and cheese cuz i was drunk and ate a cookout burger and fries. I ordered fries for myself for the first time in months, blegh. 

Okay too much nori maki this has gotta go lol kinda makes my stomach feel weird. But good idea for a vehicle for soy sauce flavor lol.  I kinda want like... soy sauce gum right now.

Lol that’s enough about soy sauce.

______ 10:25am

Damn. My new cheetah ears came in. but they’re not really cheetah ears. They’ve got that yellow with the dots, but they’re way too long and pointy. Kinda would make for a nice fennec outfit or something I suppose, but definitely not for my kitty needs. I think I might have gone too hard on my 2nd+3rd tail+ears, and now everything is just gonna look shitty in comparison. The curse of balling out is you’ve gotta keep up the lifestyle 😹 But no matter. People call my leopard print cheetah all the time anyway, it looks close enough. Plus snow leopards and cheetahs both have rounded ears anyway. Which is something most people on etsy don’t seem to get lol everyone just makes triangles all the damn time. 

So that’s a bust. I’m so happy I can just throw money at stupid shit and not care about it like this. I wonder how crazy I’m gonna go if I DO end up working at google. Me? With ACTUAL amounts of disposable income? OwO Damn maybe I should start actually working. Nahhh not yet.

Gotta play with some magic the gathering shit really quick lmao.

__________

1:27pm

uhhhh I just played a lot of magic the gathering. I got 15 wins so cool? got up to gold? Idk if I have the determination to go all the way to mythic this month. Or any month. I wonder if I’m fundamentally winning less games or if I’m just not as excited? My win rate couldn’t have been THAT sick, could it? I guess there was the streaks of playing RDW and mono green where I would win 7-0 in a half hour. Those were good days lol. 

Hrm. I’m gonna procrastinate by moisturizing my hands now. Watching this guy play a cool dimir control deck, I could get behind playing something like that.

I guess it’s like I’m not a pleb for magic anymore, so I don’t feel motivated to unlock the cards. But I’m not rich anymore either, and I can’t just play every single deck I want because I got lazy with it. I gotta just maintain and try to unlock all the cards next set and get ahead of the game again. 👌🏻👌🏻

[severalbakuras]

FIRST THREE EPISODES OF S4 LETS GO

long post so apologies to mobile users. salt warning.

voltron season 4 spoilers (although i understand it’s technically still three the season just got split in two so the content drought wasn’t as long). please don’t give me spoilers for the rest of the season!! i don’t want them!!

(on the subject of content drought is steven universe still on hiatus?)

(still better than berserk’s hiatuses though)

episode 1:

still no new intro you COWARDS

second impact!!! oh no just a ship.

i wonder if galra have unions those two sound like they need one

BLADES

“do not engage” HMMM

oooh lizard blade

the blade up top could’ve totally seen that patrol coming tbh???

KEITH I KNEW IT!!!!

30 SECONDS TO SAVE LIZARD BLADE

holy shit he actually did it

sassy keith talking back to kolivan like that. hell yeah he saved their friend and the mission.

firo uh why are you acting like bridge boss? that was allura’s job and then coran’s job when she became the blue pilot. Back The Fuckéth Down.

there’s something ominous about those temples i can’t place it.

oh hey what’s up firo being a jackass as usual? k? k. keith can you employ the blade sass here too please it’s kinda sad watching this fake shiro stomp all your fire out.

pidge i hope that’s superficial damage bc cracks are probably not what you want in an outer space vessel.

wow rude. heith cancelled i’m not liking that.

i’m not trusting a DAMN THING from firo, especially when the music got super deep for a second.

i’m not in the military or remotely connected to it in any way but this is like... actually there’s no ‘like’ about it, they’re taking the most powerful and skilled soldiers out of combat in the middle of a war just so they can show them off, when voltron is already enshrined in the galactic mythos and by now it’s well known as being active and wrecking galra shit.

i can’t!! believe!! this!! is even!!! a debate?? parade which has already stated to have already happened very recently before or a galra supply ship going to for all that they know a secret galra base that they need to track down.

Y’ALL ARE FREEDOM FIGHTERS. IN AN ACTIVE WAR ZONE. THE FUCK.

god shut up lance he could be dead or captured and you’re more worried about the show.

i’m pretty sure you’ve only ~tried~ like what, three times? and like only one of those even made any impression on keith and i don’t even think it was the right one.

AND YOU SHOULD STILL TRY BECAUSE HE’S YOUR GODDAMN FRIEND.

NO LIZARD BLADE

so they’re off giving them the ol’ razzle dazzle and keith is running out of oxygen in the wreckage of a bomb explosion with no allies in sight floating adrift in space. fun times.

this parade is basically just an ad for toys LBR.

this is embarrassingly unfunny. like not even in a schadenfreude way.

so like y’all seriously have never thought about an alternative way for these parades to go just in case one of the lions needed repairs or was late back from a mission or a paladin was sick?

allura like i get what you’re trying to say here but like... do you know keith.

he’s not choosing the blades over voltron he’s choosing the fucking war over a parade.

ahh there he is, my terrible space prince. cleanse me of my salt.

god he has no respect for haggar at all ahhaha. i know some spoilers re honerva thanks to that one clip so it’s interesting he either doesn’t recognize her or doesn’t want to or that haggar either still doesn’t remember him or also doesn’t want to.

and y’all seriously never had a contingency plan for any situation that could mean voltron wasn’t around hhhhh.

hunk you’re the tank just AOE the spawned adds and let the DPS pick them off while you pop a defensive cooldown god you’d wipe the group in ragefire chasm even in full heirlooms wouldn’t you. (although there isn’t a healer lion and he’s clearly more protection warrior than the far superior blood death knight so lol no self heals)

huh. well the black lion historically isn’t a great judge of character so you’re still firo to me. like objectively, the black lion has no investment in her paladin’s life as seen on the bone planet when they were all separated, or even the continued existence of voltron. compare to the red lion, who will wreck entire bases and cross the galaxy to get to hers if she senses they’re in peril.

i wonder if voltron or the lions are conscious. like not like a person but like an EVA unit. a unit 1 vs zeruel style fight where voltron or one of the lions goes beast mode would be AMAZING

(spoiler warning for a 90s anime lol have i linked this before? i think i might have.)

now i want to watch original NGE again boo

(i wonder if we’ll ever get a real lion-on-lion fight. like either with the paladins involved or without. or like the lions deciding ‘fuck the pilot’ and disobeying them god that makes me want to watch NGE EVEN MORE)

holy shit you can all fuck off. 

god keith your voice.

HOLY SHIT YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF THAT’S THE MOST HOLLOW ~FRIENDSHIP~ MOMENT TO DATE.

welp OT4 cancelled, i guess that means i have no nice ships in this fandom and only have crack ships like keitor and zethura. i think that’s the fastest i’ve ever gone from loving a ship to dumping it. wait no i was a puzzleshipper for all of a day before i got bored of it when i rewatched yugioh. hunk/allura/shay/keith lasted a few weeks between S3.1 and S3.2.

(it’s ok shay i still love you. i can still ship you and keith but that too is a crack ship ♥)

episode 2:

UH WELL THANKS FOR THAT SPOILER THUMBNAIL NETFLIX.

BABY PIDGE

it’s amazing how a single word has made me detest this boy more than any of the galra except that one shitty one who sucked. go to hell.

actually teacher can go to hell too you’re just gonna let the entire class laugh at her and not even try to maintain order? are you that petty about being corrected?

i like these watercolour-y style backgrounds, i hope other earth flashbacks get this kind of style. it’s a nice change from how clean and sharp everything else is.

aww he’s a good bro

NERDBABIES ♥

OH WELL I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A BACK UP PLAN IN CASE THE GALRA ATTACK WHILE SHE’S GONE :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

like he’s contacting her midflight which makes it seem like she just took off at the first hint of matt??? meanwhile kolivan contacts the ship and explains the situation and asks politely? but keith’s the bad guy for splitting up the team ok.

do i sound salty? i feel it.

that’s our hunk, he sure likes to eat! -hysterical crowd noises-

this city looks like a neo-tokyo sonic level in a good way.

the lamest spider man.

who are you sharktooth tail man.

the whole PLANET looks like a neo-tokyo sonic level in a good way. approve. the coolest planet. can that be the new hub planet and not that weird techno-ahn’qiraj thing?

so the green lion takes no steps to defend itself under attack without a paladin.

did she just bloodbend that ship?

I LOVE HER. SHE’S ABOUT TO DIE (pidge bloodbend her wound shut) BUT I LOVE HER.

“so here’s your supplies and a body cheers.”

so why all the secrets here? i feel like the garrison’s up to shady shit, like he was just a space tube driller right? is space geology really that cutthroat?

that shot of the graveyard, holy shit.

i wonder how pidge’s mother’s doing. probably not well.

now see this would be tense and tragic if not for the FUCKING THUMBNAIL NETFLIX.

physics? physics.

i love rusty space tech!!!!!!!!

aww ♥

so where’s mr. holt then.

oh so he’s not galra he’s a space dinosaur.

“looks to me like you’re made of meat, just like everyone else!” ok that was an amazing line. i’m stealing that for my blood death knight, it’s perfect for her. i like you bloody bounty huntersaurus. you’re so dead but i like you.

nerd squad!

was that shiro and keith in the back?

so matt’s eyesight couldn’t have been that bad for pidge to just put them on like that, unless he switched the lenses out and made them purely cosmetic. people have to sit down when they wear my glasses or they feel sick.

episode 3:

yknow show i already feel bad enough for haggar/honerva you don’t need to twist that knife anymore.

are they STILL torturing that guy? i mean dude’s so strong in his convictions and his loyalty that he’s not tried making up a fake or even letting his brain conjure up an answer that he believes is true y’all should consider promoting him instead maybe??? because he’s the most hardcore person in that room???

firo why does ‘refugee’ instantly translate to ‘soldier’ with you.

oh he’s lance but more anime around pretty girls. boy that sure was an interesting and appealing character trait the first time around!!!!!!1111!!!1!!

HE’S NOT SHIRO DON’T TRUST HIM MATT.

cyber zarkon. i hope his AI acts up and he has to use urban dictionary as his speech system.

interesting that her first act is to drop lotor in it.

they both hate lotor so much why’d you even have him in the first place huh?

SHE’S SO EXCITED also the formatting’s getting weird bc of the length i think so sorry if this starts looking weird.

there he is again!! space prince!!

nobody who worked on this scene has ever been close to a cow. where’s the intrinsic judgement of your soul, the innate suspicion at your mere presence?

also she needs a herd she’s gonna be lonely ;_;

lotor we all know you’re lying

well apparently they don’t so i guess that kind of behaviour is what they expect from him. huh. i wonder when the switch between that being true and that being a well rehearsed act happened.

haggar what did you just do to narti. that’s not a good high pitched noise or whispering. i feel like i’ve heard it before.

how do you miss a tracker that makes an explosion that large the first time around? and wouldn’t the scan be standard procedure at this point?

hunk why are you acting like this. it’s weird i don’t like it.

git gud lance.

that whole bit went on way too long.

OH NO NARTI I KNEW HAGGAR DID SOMETHING.

so lotor’s officially the enemy now. like public enemy number 1.

VLD IF YOU TAKE ZETHRID AWAY FROM ME LIKE SU DID WITH JASPER...

so it

was

narti oh no :( i’d kinda hoped it was the cat.

that’s pretty graphic too slicing the view in half like that. a very creative censor.

and they don’t react at all? huh.

ok ok now they have the chance to. god they all look miserable.

did they leave the cat behind?

wonder what keith’s up to.

[kbunny10]

My Spoiler Filled Thoughts on the New Power Rangers Film

I have so many feelings about this movie, but I’m going to mention so many spoilers so all of that is under the cut.

So I saw Power Rangers 2 days ago and I just need somewhere to let all my thoughts out. Let me preface this by saying that Power Rangers is one of the first shows I remember watching as a child. For a long long time we didn't have cable at my house (my parents didn't want me watching mind poisoning cartoons like Ed Edd 'n Eddy) so the only place I could really watch Power Rangers was at my grandparents house. That's fine, I was literally there everyday until I was 5 anyways. In Kindergarten I had to go into a morning care program where there were a small collection of video games and board games to play with. One of the board games was a Power Rangers game. The game had you choose which Ranger you would play as and it had their names on it. My name is Kim, the Pink Ranger was Kim, pink is my favorite color. This was the only time I could get exactly what I wanted in school because kids would be like "well does it have your name on it?" As a matter of fact it does fucker. I was even the Pink Ranger for halloween that year. There are other things I remember about my time with power rangers (like how when I marathoned In Space with my mom and my cousin I threw a tantrum when Karone didn't become the purple ranger and I ended up stomping in dog vomit) but none of those things really relate to the Rangers portrayed in the film, so let's move on. I think the first thing I was extremely pleased about can be summed up in a line from Alpha 5 "Different colors, different kids, different colored kids." This movie is everything I've been hoping for in remakes, it's oozing in diversity and it didn't stick to how things were set up in the original show. We have a white kid, a half Indian girl (Naomi Scott did a wonderful job as my favorite Kim), a Latina, a Chinese-Canadian, and an African American. But to top it all off the Asian character and the Black character weren't the yellow ranger and black ranger respectively. They were more than just their skin colors. Billy is never called "too white" for how he acts, on top of it not only does he exhibit autistic like symptoms but he even says he's on the spectrum. A black autistic superhero, I'm so glad. Zack is bilingual, and we only ever see him speaking in Mandarin with his mother, no English in their scenes, I love it. I haven't been this thrilled about another language since I saw Assassins Creed in theaters. (Which as bad as the film was, props to having everything entirely in Spanish in the flashbacks. I loved that.) I did have some complaints. I went into the movie thinking that Trini was going to be a lesbian. What I got was Zack asking her "boyfriend troubles?" and her sarcastically saying "yea boyfriend troubles." His eyes grow wide and he says "girlfriend troubles?" She's silent. I can see they were trying to show that she's struggling with her sexuality, Trini realized that she's not straight but she's not sure if she's gay either. I cried myself to sleep for years back when the teachings I got at Catholic school and Church had me thinking that I was horrible and sick if it turned out I was a lesbian, but as much as I liked guys they never interested me as much as a woman's cleavage or the scent of perfume in a girl's hair. Of course now I realize I'm pansexual and I'm much more happy and secure. But what bothers me is that right after all of that Trini goes onto talk about her family issues and says "they like labels." Hold up "labels"?! LABELS?! No, you did not. Come on guys you already said Billy was on the spectrum, why are you backtracking to the stereotypical "labels" shit that they do with bisexual people on tv instead of just saying they're bi?! Ugh. Part of me thinks that maybe, just maybe they thought saying "labels" was the same thing as saying "I'm on the spectrum" instead of having Billy straight up say "I'm autistic." Maybe they thought it could be inferred and people would be happy? But they really fucked up there. I wish they had shown us more of Trini's mom too, the way she talked to Trini, asking rapid fire questions and slamming her hands down on the table while screaming "say something" just made me think about how maybe her mom is abusive to her. She does give Trini a cup to pee in when Trini makes a comment about how she thinks she's a super hero and that's kind of funny, but coupled with what she had done moments before...I think at the very least she and her mom have an emotionally abusive relationship, but the fact that questions weren't asked about the holes in the wall Rita left behind while beating the shit out of Trini...makes me think its progressed past that. One thing I noticed in the film is that we know that Trini and Zack go to school with Kim, Billy, and Jason; yet we never actually see them in school with the other 3. A lot of scenes are in detention and Trini and Zack aren't there until the very end of the film, but I feel like Trini and Zack never get as much development as the other 3. I mean we know their names are Kimberly Hart, Billy, Cranston, and Jason Scott, but we never once hear Zack Taylor or Trini Kawn. They're just Zack and Trini. I'm guessing Taylor and Kwan aren't even their last names now with the the ethnicity change. I've read a couple interviews from the people who worked on the film and I know a lot of the deleted scenes involve Zack's back story. Even looking at the trailers I know they deleted the scene of Zack jumping over a house, Trini at her deface locker with the things "loser" "ugly" and "die" written on there, and a scene of Zack morphed and running around at night. So I hope the dvd is either an extended cut or includes these scenes. I'd like to make some comments specifically on Kim, I mean she's my love so I kind of have to. I thought that Kim's switch from gymnastics to cheer leading was arbitrary, but it still made sense so I won't complain. When she passes her former friends in the final fight and they get hit with rubble she says "serves you right" and then Billy's bully hops in the car to shield himself. This implies that Kim's friends are on the same level as the bully. But all they did was cut Kim out because she sent her friend's nude to her boyfriend and made fun of her. That's...extremely reasonable? Kim was actually really shitty there so they didn't exactly deserve anything. However, if we go back to how they cut out Trini's locker scene, a part of me wonders if they're the ones that are picking on Trini. Trini seems to have an unexplained amount of hostility towards Kim that I don't think can just be explained by Kim not knowing Trini well after a year of her attending the school. It would make sense, even though they cut Kim out for a good reason, they seem to have mean girl tendencies and I almost think they are the ones making Trini's school life hell. Also though, I'm not a popular person and never have been. Super popular girls in a bathroom stall together and then falling out giggling in a flirty way? A popular girl sending a nude to a friend in confidence? That doesn't make sense to me. Is Kim's friend bi? Did she send Kim the nude hitting on her? Was she making out with their other friend in the bathroom? These are all thoughts that come to mind that I feel weren't explained. I mean I've seen girls come out of stalls together giggling like that, but that was in a Barnes and Noble bathroom where I hid for the entire time they were having sex. I couldn't leave because it was embarrassing but it wasn't fun to sit there and listen either. Another thing that they cut from the film, which I'm actually glad they did, was the Jason and Kim romance. It's still partially there, you can see it, but without the kiss and any sort of declaration of feelings it can also be read as just close flirty friends. I hated the idea of a romance happening between them in the movie. I was so against it, so when they cut the kiss out of the film I was actually really glad. Now if they have Kim be with Tommy in the second film, hopefully there won't be a love triangle there. I don't really ship Kim with Jason or Tommy, I'd be fine if they cut the romance entirely, but she's bound to be with one of them at some point. We know that Tommy is coming because of the lovely mid credits scene, a zoom in on a green jacket while the teacher in charge of detention calls for "Tommy Oliver" who is not present. I hope, hope they do something with Tommy's ethnicity too. I would love if he was Native American or something like that. In all honesty I was hoping that maybe we'd get a female green ranger, I mean in the scene at the very beginning we see Rita in the full green ranger armor so we do technically get a green ranger, and she's in the corrupted version of the armor for most of the film. But I was hoping that maybe they would make Tommy a girl so the main green ranger would also be female? But Rita as female green ranger in the past is good enough for me..for now. Overall I loved the film for what it was, I am bitter there wasn't more character development for Trini and Zack, but I'm glad with how it turned out. I think one of my favorite scenes was early on in the film, after they first got their power coins and they were running away from the mine. I liked how all 5 of them ended up in the car together to try to escape. The whole scene just came off as so pure and I loved the way everyone moved around during it. Yknow right up until they were hit by the train and almost died. I guess if I had one last question to ask about the film it would be: what the fuck did Trini do to get put in detention at the end of the film? Jason is there because he broke into the rival high school to put a stolen bull in there, Kim is there because she sent her boyfriend a nude of one of her friends and then punched his teeth out, Billy is there because he blew up his lunchbox, and we can infer that Zack is there because he skipped so much school taking care of his mother/finding a way to cope with the idea that she might eventually die that he probably has to be there every weekend in order to graduate. But what did Trini do? She goes to school, does her homework, and flies relatively under the radar from what she told us, so why would she end up there?